


No Vacancy

by xaphrin



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series), Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, In which there is is some enemies to lovers, because I am a shameless disaster, with a HEFTY DOSE OF PORN
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 16:08:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 42,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20838299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xaphrin/pseuds/xaphrin
Summary: They were the two jilted lovers that came up with a no-strings-attached agreement. It was only too bad that they started to fall for one another in the worst ways possible.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Many of you have read this before, I'm sure. I'm just relocating it to AO3 as well. If you haven't read it... please let me apologize in advance.

Truthfully, Jason had always assumed that Raven was a Grade-A prude. A super prude. The kind of prude that reminded of him of the strictest nuns who wore nothing but long sleeves and long skirts and a chastity belt (for all he knew). Not that he had any real, hard proof that she was a prude, but he could at least make a somewhat educated assumption based on what little he knew about her. She kept her emotions and mind so closed off that it was impossible to tell anything about her, good or bad or otherwise, and so Jason obviously inferred that she was as sexually distinct as an amoeba. Besides, she wore a long cloak, she barely showed any skin, she never responded to any of the flirting he liked to tease her with… to him, she was the definition of “prude” to a T - no questions asked. 

And yet…  _ here _ she was. Standing outside of the XXX shop, staring at the brightly colored neon signs advertising “Toys for Solo Play” with a sort of confused, almost wistful look on her face. It was as if she knew exactly what she wanted, but didn’t know how to ask for it, and so she just stayed within the chains of her imagination and own reservations. 

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Raven wasn’t a prude. Maybe she was just secretly kinky, and  _ that _ was a fascinating thought. 

Jason leaned back against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched her, utterly fascinated. Of all the places he’d expected to see Raven outside of the tower or far away from a battle, this horrible, depraved, disgusting dump of a store didn’t even make the list. Maybe the creepy apothecary down the street, but  _ not _ the sex toy store. He had to blink a few times to make sure it really was her and not an illusion. She stayed put, unaware of his presence. 

He really  _ shouldn’t _ tease her… but this sight was just  _ too much fun _ for him to just ignore. 

She sighed and reached for the door, determination and resolve sewn across her lips as her fingers touched the steel handle. 

“Well, well… didn’t think I’d  _ ever _ see you here.”

She snatched her hand back, cradling it to her chest as if she’d been burned by the door, and her eyes darted around to the dark shadows sliding over the street. A pink tongue escaped and wet her lips, and Jason found himself  _ fascinated _ with the movement, as if it were the first time he was  _ really _ looking at her. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes widened as she finally turned her head and looked over at him, lurking in the shadows. 

“So…” Jason chuckled and pushed himself from the wall into the flickering neon light. “...need help finding a dildo, Princess? I hear their selection here is supposed to be top of the line.”

She stilled and Jason watched as her face turned about six shades darker, turning to stare at him. He was still clothed in his Red X uniform, mask pulled tightly over his face as he approached her. She looked frightened for a moment, like she was about to run, but her lips pressed into a thin line as she collected her thoughts slowly. If she was going down, she would be going down with a fight. 

A few, heavy seconds skipped by before she managed to gather her wits enough to glare at him. “Well, X, I didn’t know you’d fallen so low that you’d have to hit up a seedy sex toy shop… although, you could be a patron. I hear they sell a really good pill that’s supposed to make you grow and I’m  _ sure _ you need it.” Her eyes flicked to below his belt before glancing back up into his face. “You know, after all the times Robin has put you in your place, I’m surprised you have any manhood left.”

Jason set his lips and glared at her from behind the mask, feeling a growl bubble up into his throat. That  _ bitch _ . It was a low blow to insult the size of his dick and she knew it. Crossing his arms over his chest, he took a step toward her. “Well, at least I’m not the one clamboring for a new dildo because I can’t get a boy to find me attractive and I have no idea how to be social.” He rubbed his fists over his mask, making the mocking motion of crying. “ _ Wah wah _ , I’m weird and creepy and antisocial and no one loves me.”

Jason winced. Okay,  _ that _ was a little  _ too _ low, even for him. 

“ _ Cock _ .” 

“ _ Bitch _ .”

“ _ Asshole. _ ”

“ _ Whiny goth witch. _ ”

Raven’s lips curled up into a snarl and she leaned forward a bit, poking her finger into his chest as her anger flared up, sparking brightly between them. It was as if her powers snapped and clashed around them, creating a flame neither of them could put out. They were testing each other, trying to see how long the other one would last before they lost control. Raven’s magic spread out over his chest, burning him just enough so that Jason took a step back and rubbed at his sternum. She really could pack a punch if he wasn’t careful. He was playing with fire and he needed to back off… but teasing her was  _ so much fun _ .

She barked out a low, humorless laugh and glared at him. “Well, you know what? Maybe I do suck at getting a boy to like me, but at least I’m not the one pining after an alien redhead because she doesn’t like him.” Her eyes turned dark and she smirked. “And  _ man _ , it must suck know that big brother Dick gets all the girls. Right,  _ Jason _ ?”

His heart fell into the pit of his stomach and he stared at her, breaking heavily through the mask. Her words hit their intended mark, and he took another step back, trying to think. She  _ knew _ ? How in the world did she find out? He was certain that no one else could have  _ possibly _ known who he was, but somehow she had known, and yet didn’t tell anyone? It didn’t make sense, but then again, there wasn’t a lot about her that made sense to him anyway. 

Jason slowly peeled off the mask and looked down at her, his . “You knew?”

“I’ve always known.” Reaching up, she flicked his forehead with her thumb and forefinger, a huff of breath escaping her lips. “Your mental signature is so disgustingly strong, who else would be parading around in Robin’s suit acting so utterly foolish?” She huffed and started down the street, ignoring the sex toy shop as if it had never been there. “You are so blatantly obvious sometimes that I’m amazed that Dick hasn’t figured out it’s you yet… although, I chalk that up to his suddenly strong fascination with Starfire - but I’m sure you knew all about that, didn’t you?”

His jaw clicked into place with annoyance and he glared at her. “You think I have the hots for an alien babe?”

Well, truthfully, he  _ did _ , but that was none of Raven’s damn business, and he’d never admit to it anyway. 

“Oh,  _ Jason _ .” Raven looked up at him and rolled her eyes. “I  _ know _ you’re pining after her like a thirsty man pines for water. Even if I wasn’t an empath, I’m still not  _ blind _ . You’re only moments away from banging on your chest like a neanderthal and whisking her away to your cave.”

“I am not so  _ base _ , Raven.” His voice was low and dangerous, but it sounded more like he was arguing with her. How in the world did she manage to get under his skin to easily? She was like a sliver trapped under his nail and he wanted nothing more than to pull her out. “I have some tact.”

“That’s what you say, but I have yet to see it.” 

Jason rolled his eyes and slinked alongside her, following her into an alley. The darkness overwhelmed them both, blocking out the lights of the seedy district down the road. Above them, a window was open and the almost pornographic sounds of fucking could be heard from an illegal brothel above the sex toy shop. Raven closed her eyes and listened, as if she had done this a dozen times before - simply listened to the disgusting sounds of sex. 

Jason stared at her, that calm look on her face, as if she was serene with the world around her, and tasting emotions she didn’t have a chance to experience yet. He had the brief image of her leaning back against the brick wall behind them, fingers between her legs as she touched herself to the noises being made just out of her reach. Had she stood in this exact spot and masturbated before, letting the sounds take her far away from her own world?

He snorted incredulously. Maybe he was completely wrong about her. Maybe she wasn’t even  _ close _ to being a prude.

“I don’t pine after her,” he murmured weakly.

“Oh come on, Jason. It’s just me here, and who am I going to tell?” Her eyes opened and she tilted her head towards him, expression unreadable. “You think I’m going to run right home to my team and tell them all about the fact that I ran into Red X - who is incidentally Jason Todd - outside of a sex toy stop that happens to run an illegal brothel? You  _ honestly _ think that I’m going to admit that to anyone?” She snorted, glancing away from him. “You’re stupider than I thought.”

“You’re bitchier than I thought.”

Raven shrugged, unaffected by his pathetic insult. 

He wasn’t quite sure what was keeping him attached to her side, he should have ran. She knew who he was and what he was capable of, and she could have told Robin at any moment just  _ who _ Red X really was, but she didn’t. No, instead she turned away from him and walked to an alley, standing under open windows and listening to sex. And here he was, a complete idiot, following her into the alleyway and arguing with her as she insulted him. This whole situation was  _ weird,  _ without a shadow of a doubt. 

“So,  _ what _ , Raven? You know who I am, and I know that you’re going to shove a dildo up your pussy… or ass, look I don’t claim to know what kind of kink you’re into.” He turned and leaned against the wall, his eyes flicking up to the third floor. “Not like it’s my place to judge anyway. The point is, I don’t give a fuck.”

“You do.” 

He glanced down at her, watching her cheeks flush again as a low moan broke through the small alleyway from the open window. Shifting, he looked down at her and he let go of a soft, low sigh. “You think I care about…?”

“Whether or not I say something. I’m not going to say anything, but… you still care. You want to know what Starfire’s reaction would be when I tell her that you were going to go find a hooker who wears green contacts and a red wig.” Raven tapped her fingers on her thigh and her eyes flicked back up to the windows, her lips peeling back in a cruel smile. “After all, there’s only  _ one _ reason you’d come all this way across the city.”

His eyes narrowed, but he couldn’t find it in his mind to disagree with her. She was right -  _ unfortunately _ . That’s why he’d been outside the shop in the first place - to get a hit of his fantasy. Jason’s fingers subconsciously reached for the bills folded in his belt. He’d never paid for sex before in his life, but sometimes the need ran too deep. He had a disgusting, little infatuation with someone he could never have, and if there was one thing that Jason knew for certain, it was that he would never have a chance with Starfire - not in a million years. 

So… here he was. 

“Your silence speaks volumes.” 

“Yeah?” He snarled at her and inched away, shifting his weight just a little. “You knew there was a whore house here, and yet you still came. So, why don’t  _ you _ tell me what you were doing here then? I mean, you couldn’t have been looking for  _ just _ a dildo, Princess of Darkness.” 

Her lips twitched at the annoying nickname, and there was a long silence before she spoke again. “I was going to go up there today.”

Jason looked down at her, watching her fingers tap along her thigh. He never thought she’d admit to it outright, and yet he was proven wrong again. He licked his lips and raised an eyebrow. “Up  _ there _ ? To the  _ brothel _ ?”

“Mm… they have one…  _ escort _ that bares a striking resemblance to Robin.” She smirked and looked over at him, her eyes still darkly playful as if she was holding onto a secret. “And one that looks a lot like Starfire. Isn’t that why you’re here after all, Jason? To get your rocks off with a little bit of play time with a hooker in a red wig.”

“You’ve got an awful mouth on you.” His jaw clicked into place with a glare and he looked away. “I should wash it out with soap.”

“Mm… I’m sure that’s not the only thing you’ve thought about doing with my mouth.”

A shiver ran down his spine at the implication and his lips pulled back in a snarl Shaking his head, he ran his fingers through his hair and looked down at her again, pretending that her words didn’t affect him. “So what, Raven? You’re here for him? Wanna take some time and lie under a stranger wearing a mask and green panties just to pretend for a few minutes that he might have paid attention to you? You’re just as pathetic as me.”

“Maybe you’re right, but let’s not forget that you’re here too.” Raven’s eyes flicked up to his own, her lips slipping into a thin, wane expression, almost as if she was tired of his bullshit. “Don’t go calling the pot black, kettle. We both want something neither one of us can have. You want her. I want him. They have each other and we’re left with this aching, empty feeling inside up that we can never fill.”

“Now, you sound like you’re having an existential crisis… or you’re proposing something, Raven.” 

“Mm… perhaps I am.” Her fingers stopped tapping against her thigh and she took a slow breath, her expression still unreadable. “Perhaps I might be suggesting an alternative for the two jilted lovers stuck outside a brothel thinking about how much this emptiness hurts.”

His eyes turned dark as he realized what she was getting at. This was why she came here, why she was slowly working up the courage to go into the shop. She wanted a  _ fuck _ . Nothing romantic, nothing filled with connection and attachment, she simply wanted a moment to release the primal need that was growing inside her. She wanted to feel a connection that masturbation couldn’t offer, and she here she was, standing in the middle of screams and moans and skin against skin, looking up at him with those almost black eyes. A shiver slipped down his spine and pooled low in his gut, feeling icy and hot at the same time. His mind buzzed and he let go of a burst of breath as he considered her ‘alternative’.

“You want a fuck.”

She said nothing, her tongue coming out to lick her lips again.

He leaned closer, his breath heavy. “You’re asking me to fuck you.”

“I’m asking for you to give us what we both need.” 

“ _ Any _ Robin will do, won’t it?”

“ _ Please _ ,” Raven snorted and waved him off, holding her anger in check just enough to respond. “You haven’t been a Robin in years. Robin is barely Robin anymore. Don’t insult me with such a petty observation, Jason.” 

His lips twitched and he looked back up at the open windows, listening to the sounds filling the alleyway. He set his jaw and took a long, slow deep breath before choosing to respond. “You know that I don’t like you Raven, and that this means absolutely nothing, right?”

“I’m hoping it means nothing.” She picked at her nails for a moment before glancing back up at him. “I don’t ever want to be associated with feeling anything other than pure and utter contempt for you.” 

“Nothing.”

“ _ Absolutely _ nothing.” 

Jason closed his eyes and took in the sound of the sex still resounding around him. It only added fuel to the fire, and before he knew it, his hands were curling under her chin, bringing her face closer to his own. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, still watching her face with a deep fascination he couldn’t place. “I hate you, you know.”

She snorted, and he could feel her heat as she leaned in closer, lips brushing up against his own. A low chuckle escaped her throat, sounding more like a dark curse than anything else. “Trust me, Jason… the feeling is mutual.”


	2. Chapter 2

Jason watched her slip her clothes from her body with a sort of detached, function-only feeling. She wasn’t removing her clothes because she was trying to get him aroused or tease him, she was removing her clothes because the whole act of sex couldn’t be performed with clothes on. It was all so…  _ cold _ . Like it was some kind of weird, skeevy transaction that he couldn’t control, and a shiver rippled down his spine as he began to question exactly  _ what _ he was doing here. Agreeing to illicit sex with  _ Raven _ was one thing, but her detachment from the situation was something else entirely. 

Could he really do this? Could he really just pretend that this whole fucking thing was okay? He didn’t know.

Shaking his head, Jason ran his tongue along his lower lip and watched her neatly fold her clothes into a pile at the end of the melamine table tucked near the window. It wasn’t until she was standing in nothing more than her underwear, thumbs hooked in the waistband of her panties, that he finally came to his senses. 

“Stop.”

Raven blinked, but said nothing. Her hands fell away from her underwear and she leaned back against the table, looking at him with a cold, calculative stare. 

“Look… if we’re gonna  _ actually _ do this, then can you at least maybe  _ try _ a little here.” He leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees, watching her carefully as he spoke. He was trying to gauge her, figure her out so that maybe he could make this just a  _ little _ less awkward. “I don’t know what you’re good at, but work me up. Play coy. Be…  _ sexy _ .”

Her nostrils flared and her lips twitched in anger. “I don’t  _ do _ sexy.”

“Look…” He paused and sighed, standing up to approach her slowly. He was seriously regretting his decision to agree to this stupid idea, but he would at least give this first try a fighting chance. “It doesn’t exactly work unless I’m in the mood, and this whole perfunctory attitude of yours isn’t exactly  _ helping _ .”

“ _ Perfunctory? _ ” She snorted. “What a pretty ten-dollar word, Jason.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m trying to be serious.” 

“Look…” Raven sighed and shook her head, sorting her thoughts before continuing. “Let’s just both fully come to terms with the fact that you and I don’t like each other. We barely  _ tolerate  _ each other. So, what exactly makes you think that I’m going to try and arouse you? Or even more than that, what makes you think that I  _ can _ arouse you?” She paused, a noise of incredulity escaping the back of her throat. “We both agreed that this would be purely physical, Jason. Nothing more. So I’m noting going to play coy or sexy just to appease you.”

He growled and his hand twitched. Really, he just needed to fucking  _ leave _ . “Well, I can’t get it in if I can’t get it up, so either you try to pretend to be sexy so I can get a hard on, or we call it quits and never speak of this stupid arrangement ever again.”

She sighed in defeat, and without warning, dropped down on her knees in front of him. “Come on, unzip.”

Jason’s face flushed red. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am.” 

“Fucking hell, you’re strange.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You’ll suck my dick, but you won’t kiss me, or play sexy?”

“I don’t want to kiss you, Jason, I want to fuck you,  _ that was the arrangement _ .” She gnashed her teeth in annoyance, her patience obviously running thin. “This is purely physical, completely emotionless, and of story.” She looked up at him. “Now, unzip, or I’ll do it for you.” 

He unbuttoned his fly with a curse, her slender fingers reaching out to unfasten his zipper with antagonizing slowness. His tongue traced his lower lip again and he watched as Raven pulled down his too-tight pants from his uniform and his boxers, so that they both pooled around his ankles unceremoniously. His heart was racing and his skin was erupting in goosebumps as she moved even closer, her eyes filled with curiosity. She looked so completely at peace with what she was about to do that it shook him to the core. It was just a means to an end, that was all. Jason swallowed and the corner of her lips pulled back in a smirk. 

“ _ Well, well _ , Jason… I didn’t know you were packing heat.”

He blushed in spite of himself. “Are we going to do this or am I going to have to fuck your face?”

Her eyebrows lifted and she glanced up at him. “Now,  _ there’s _ an idea.”

She was proving herself to be a glutton for punishment, and he wondered  _ precisely _ how far he could push her. Images of her bent over his knee with her plump, round ass in the air filled his mind, and he suddenly wanted to spank her hard. He shifted and glared at her. “Stop talking, Raven, or I really  _ will _ shut you up.”

“Promises, promises, Jason. Don’t make them if you don’t intend to keep them.” 

He shivered as he felt her cool hands trace the length of him, trying to feel every little part of him. Each stroke was curious and exploratory, like she wanted to touch him first before letting herself experience  _ anything. _ It was like she was admiring art, and that thought alone nearly brought him to his knees. Her hand wrapped around him, pumping slowly as her moist, wet lips wrapped around his head. Jason hissed out a breath of air and his head fell back against his shoulders, shivering as the flat of her tongue swirled around the head of his cock. 

_ Fuck _ . 

_ Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _

Why did this feel so fucking good? Jason gasped and he let a hand fall into her hair, tangling just a little. He could feel his body reacting to her in a way that he never imagined reacting to  _ anyone _ , least of all  _ her _ . Every nerve in his body felt like it was sparking to life, snapping and sizzling over his skin as she took the length of him in her mouth, her tongue going something  _ disgustingly _ sinful and delicious. It swirled around him, drew patterns, and all the while she sucked and pumped and brought him to full, dripping attention in just a matter of minutes. 

He glanced at the clock and felt his stomach twist.  _ Two minutes _ . It was only two minutes of her giving the best fucking head he’d ever had and now he felt like he was going to come. Fucking hell. What in the world was she doing to him? He pushed her away, falling back on the bed and watching as she wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, eyes practically wild. Everything about the entire scene in front of him was profane, but he fucking  _ loved it _ . 

“ _ Now? _ ” Her voice was hoarse, a little raw and heavy from the need that was undoubtedly sinking into her veins. 

Jason was gasping for breath, and before he knew it, his hands were reaching out for her, clawing at her underwear as he tried to pull it from her body. He didn’t realize how desperate he had become until he accepted that there was no turning back. He wanted this, he wanted her, and she was already proving to be more than just a good fuck - she would be a  _ great _ one. 

He pulled her onto his lap, his mouth teasing her breasts as his fingers found her core. His forefinger drew little circles around her clit, stroking it and teasing it before dipping his finger back into her body and pumping slowly. Raven let go of a strangled noise in the back of her throat, and he leaned back to watch the sight of his fingers slipping in and out of her body. It was beautiful. He rubbed his thumb over her clit again, flicking it as she moaned, her voice low and dangerous in the muffled silence of the hotel room. 

“A-are you going to get on with it, or are you just going to sit there and finger me all night, Jason? Because I can do that myself, and I certainly don’t need  _ your _ assistance.” Her words were practically venomous, dripping poison with every syllable as her hands found his shoulders. “I don’t need your fingers, I need your cock.”

“You have a filthy mouth.”

“Mm…” She made a show of licking her lips, reminding him that his cock had filled her mouth just minutes before. “Well, that’s all thanks to you, you know.” 

His tongue rolled in his mouth and he wondered what she would do if he threw her on the bed and just ate her out for the rest of the night, watching her come over and over and over, until there was nothing left. And then? Well, then he’d do it all over again. Jason bit the inside of his cheek and he leaned up to her dirty mouth, his lips so close to her own but never quite touching. No kissing. That was the rule. 

“Show me what you’ve got, Raven. Let’s see if you’re  _ really _ everything you promise to be-”

His words were cut off sharply as Raven let her weight fall, impaling herself on his cock with a quick gasp and wide eyes. Her head fell back against her shoulders and her hands tightened around his neck. Everything seemed too bright and colorful, and Jason just stared at her as Raven struggled to find words for what she was feeling. 

“ _ Fuck. _ ”

Jason could only agree silently.  _ Fuck _ was the only appropriate response to the hellfire of lust and desire that was burning up every last part of his soul. His eyes closed and his hands tightened on her hips, feeling her body move against him with little, small movements. She was adjusting to him, taking him in, each part of her welcoming him as she rocked her hips back and forth. Jason groaned, and he pushed up against her, meeting the slow pace of her hips with one of his own. His hands fell to his sides and he leaned back against his forearms, watching her ride him. 

Her back arched, her mouth thrown open as the mouth lewd sounds escaped, her breasts bouncing with each push. She looked like something out of a porn magazine, and he should have felt some iota of shame at what they were doing in the shadows, but he didn’t. All he could really think about was how fucking  _ good _ she felt, and how much he wanted to watch her come, and how he wanted to fuck her so hard she wouldn’t be able to walk for a week. All he could really think about was this imperfect moment, far away from the perfect world of heroes and villains. 

“ _ Yes _ .”

Jason’s eyes swept up to her face and he watched her eyes open, wide with pleasure. He licked his lips, his nostrils flaring as he tried to contain his need. She was coming. 

“ _ Yes _ .”

His fingers bit into the cheap cotton of the bedding, still watching her with rapt attention. 

“ _ Yes! _ ” 

Raven ground her hips against him, rocking and pushing with such force that it felt like she was going to implode. Jason lost his control, and without a word or warning, he grabbed her hips and pushed himself into her over and over until the world went supernova, and he was drowning in a sea of white-hot pleasure. Everything felt  _ wonderful _ , and Jason fell back against the bed, watching as Raven sat on top of him, still gasping for breath. Her hands were trembling as she ran her fingers through her hair, looking down at him from beneath heavy eyelids.

“Give me a few minutes and we’ll go again.” 

Jason didn’t know what made him say it. It was an odd thing to say, especially after they both had the most amazing, mind-blowing orgasms either of them could imagine. He should have been rolling out of bed, redressing and making his way to the door, but here he was, offering her another round. 

“I don’t need to go again.” Raven moved away from him, taking a few tissues from the nightstand and cleaning herself off. “I’m going back to the tower.” 

“You don’t want to come again?” He tried to play his whole thing off like a joke, and teasingly wiped off his mouth. “Come on, Raven, I’ve cleaned off a place for you to sit.”

Oddly enough, that particular thought made her pause, and Jason felt his heart jump and his dick stir again. He licked his lips and tried not to fantasize about her pretty thighs on either side of his head as he stabbed his tongue deep inside her. He  _ tried _ , and failed miserably.  _ God _ , he wondered what she tasted like? Sin incarnate probably. Jason shifted and sat up, leaning forward as he watched Raven finger her underwear, unsure if she should pull them on. 

“Come on, Rae… one more round isn’t gonna kill you.” Was… was he  _ begging _ ? It sounded like he was begging. Oh god, how  _ mortifying _ . “I’ll do whatever you want.” Oh fucking hell, he  _ was _ begging. He needed the world to open up and swallow him whole. 

“I’m going home.” Raven pulled her panties back on and started redressing. “I’ll see you next week.” 

Jason licked his lips. “Alright. Next week. Same time, same place?”

“Same time. Same place.” Raven pulled on her cloak and looked down at him. “Maybe I’ll stay for two rounds next time.”

He smirked. 

“I said  _ maybe _ .”


	3. Chapter 3

Raven was certain that the drug addicts in the room next to him could hear her screams. She would have bet real, human money on it, and it was kind of embarrassing to admit, but she couldn’t stop herself. She couldn’t be quiet even if she wanted to. The first time they fucked had been great. The second was even better. But the  _ third _ ?  _ Sweet Azar _ , he was taking her to the stars and back with each push of his hips over and over and over, until she felt like every ounce of her soul was practically exploding underneath his touch. 

Her back arched off the bed and she screwed her eyes shut, feeling her orgasm burn painfully just underneath her navel. She was primed and ready, so fucking close to coming, but he didn’t let her fall. Jason just rode her line hard, pushing her just enough to get a rise from her and then easing her back down so she was left in this perpetual purgatory of almost-orgasm. It hurt like hell, but it felt so good too.

“Don’t fucking tease me like this, you asshole.” Her voice was rough, sounding raw against her ears and not quite her own. “Don’t promise me something you won’t fucking deliv-” 

Her words were cut short as he pulled himself from her body and glared down at her. Sweat dripped down the planes and curves of his chest before trickling over his abs and tangling in the line of hair that traveled down his navel to that  _ gorgeous _ cock. Raven was gasping, staring at him as her legs trembled and shook, her skin practically  _ on fire _ . She swallowed and glared up at him. 

“You’re a fucking douche.”

He laughed and leaned back on his heels. “Yeah? Don’t insult the guy who’s gonna fuck your brains out, Raven.”

_ Going to? _ He already had. Not that Raven would ever admit that outloud. 

She snarled up at him. “If you’re not going to finish, I’ll do it myself.” 

_ That _ certainly piqued his interest. “Oh? Then,  _ please _ , don’t let me stop you.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“So you keep reminding me, Raven… and yet here you are, just insulting me when you could be getting yourself off.” He stood up and reached for the booze he had left on the nightstand, taking a swig from the bottle before leaning back on his heels. “You could be coming right now, and instead you’re arguing with me. Really, it’s a waste of a good orgasm if you ask me.”

Her legs twitched and tightened. “You’re goading me.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” Jason grinned and took another gulp of booze, still watching her. “Maybe I wanna see you touch yourself.” 

“You’re disgusting.”

He shrugged. “You have a nice pussy. So sue me if I think about you fingering yourself.” Jason drank a bit more before he set the bottle back on the nightstand, his smile turning devious. He leaned over her, his fingertips rolling a nipple as he stared. “Tell you what, creepy goth witch, if you indulge me and let me watch you get yourself off, then while you’re still coming from your orgasm, I’ll pick you up, bend you over and fuck you on the table over and over and over again - until it breaks. I’ll fuck you so hard, you’ll be bruised for a week.” 

She shivered, and before she knew it, Raven had spread her legs again, her hand creeping between her thighs. She was fascinated with Jason’s playful little grin as he moved to the end of the bed, watching her with rapt attention. 

“ _ Yeah _ , I know, Little Bird, you like it  _ rough _ and  _ hard _ .” He licked his lips. “So, show me what you’ve got and I’ll make it worth your while.”

He was a  _ fucking _ asshole, but the thought was too tempting. Raven closed her eyes and her fingers thrummed her clit, rubbing erratic, needy circles over herself. Her muscles clenched and it only took moments before she was brought back to that delicious edge again. She gasped, her back arching and her mouth falling open with each breath. It felt  _ delicious _ to feel this pleasure, and Jason watching her and talking dirty was only making it better. She was  _ disgusting _ to have enjoyed this whole scenario, but she was so desperate to get off that she didn’t fucking care. 

“You want my cock buried in that pretty, dripping pussy, right?”

She did. She hated herself for it, but she did. 

“You  _ love _ being under me as I fuck you from behind.”

She whimpered, and her hips began to tremble. 

“I like taking control of you like this, fucking you so hard you can’t even stand on your own legs.”

Raven bit her lip, feeling herself hang weightless in that long, slow moment of pleasure. Her hand began to cramp, every muscle in her body tensing up as it waited for the inevitable explosion of fireworks and light. She breathed in and out through her nose, trying to focus on that glorious, wonderful feeling between her thighs. 

“Come on. Let’s see you stain the sheets,  _ Princess _ .”

That fucking asshole. 

Raven thought she might have a chance to snap at him and take control of the situation, but it was too late. Before she knew what hit her, her body was shaking, her stomach was tight, and her head was twisting every which way on the lumpy pillow underneath her. Release flooded her entire being and she screamed so loud she thought the windows might shatter. Raven expected to see new colors with how  _ good _ it felt. It was like she had been pushed off a cliff and was now free falling into nothingness, and it didn’t scare her one bit.

Vaguely she felt aware of being lifted from the bed, pulled to her feet and then-

“ _ Fuck! _ ”

“Yeah, that’s right, Princess…” Jason’s words rang hard in her ear and she growled as he shoved her down on the cold, melamine table. His thick cock filled her to the brink, pushing against her already spasming muscles in just a way that another orgasm was going to follow the first in seconds. He grinned and his hand pushed against her shoulder, pinning her to the surface “You  _ like _ this.”

She fucking did, like some kind of depraved, sick human. 

He slammed his hips against her own, his pace and force practically blinding. “Come on.  _ Say it _ .”

She would  _ never _ admit it outloud. Not to  _ him _ .

“ _ Say it! _ ”

She shivered, trying to focus on the creak and groan of the table underneath her, knowing that he was going to stay true to his word - they  _ were _ going to break the table. Jason slammed his hips back into her, the smack of his skin louder than her moans. He shoved her harder into the table, setting a frantic pace as he desperately sought out the same delicious orgasm she had given herself. He wanted a taste of paradise as well, and he would use her however he could to reach it. 

“ _ Fucking say it, Raven! _ ”

She groaned and tried to move her hands to grab onto something, but he just yanked them behind her back, snarling. Raven’s voice was so hoarse that she was worried she wouldn’t be able to talk tomorrow, and yet she continued to scream anyway. 

“ _ I like it when you fuck me hard! _ ”

“What  _ else! _ ”

“ _ I like it when you fuck me hard, Robin! _ ”

Really, she hadn’t expected to say that, and she hadn’t even really been thinking about Robin, but that’s what they were here for right? They were hear to forget that they didn’t belong to their unrequited loves… right? 

There was a hiccup in his pace. He faltered just a little, as if he wasn’t expecting that answer, and then his hips slammed even  _ harder _ inter her, and he growled like the animal he was. “That’s  _ right _ ,  _ Starfire _ .  _ You  _ like it when I fuck you hard!”

His nails bit into her wrists, his hips slammed so hard, forcing her weight around until they both finally cursed their very existence and let themselves go. Raven barely heard the crack of wood underneath her as she came. He was  _ right _ , they had broken the table. She didn’t care though. The only thing that mattered was staying in this wonderful state of bliss, the white-hot heat rushing through her veins as everything faded away and her body finally collapsed. Jason caught her around the hips, pulling from her body and stumbling backwards so that they both laid down on the bed. Raven shivered, wiping tears from her eyes as her muscles went from a state of complete sensation to being utterly useless. 

_ Holy hell _ . 

Jason laughed, running a hand down his face. “ _ Fuck _ .”

Yeah. 

“I didn’t know it could be that fucking good.”

Neither did she. 

“I’m gonna be masturbating to this night for the rest of my fucking life.”

Ditto.

Raven managed to sit up, looking down at him as he grinned up at her. He looked playful almost, excited and a little bit nervous, as if there was something else he wanted to say or ask. Raven didn’t even give him the chance. 

She stood up and reached for the tissues on the nightstand, trying to block out the weird, sinking feeling in her stomach. There was a part of her that wanted to lay down, to curl into his arms and fall asleep, even if it was just for a little bit. She wanted his hand to play with her hair as they talked about how good their roll in the sheets was, or even let their conversation run into normal subjects. They’d been doing their stupid thing for two weeks now, and Raven still refused to stay any longer than she had to. She wouldn’t let him even imagine that maybe she liked him just a little. No, she was here because he had a nice cock, that was it. 

But still… the thought of cuddling…

_ No _ . Not part of their agreement. 

Raven cleaned herself off and reached for her clothes, fishing her cloak out from underneath the broken table. If she pretended not to care, maybe she’d be able to block out that stupid desire to stay longer than necessary. “Same time next week, Jason?”

He rolled his tongue in his mouth, obviously tasting words he wasn’t sure if he should speak or not. A few seconds skipped by and he shrugged. “Sure. Next week.”

“Alright. I’ll be here.”

“Mm.” He plastered a grin on his lips, just lit looked a little forced and broken, not at all what it normally did. “Maybe next time we can break the bed?”

Raven just rolled her eyes. 


	4. Chapter 4

“You can’t deviate from the norm, Robin! You know what happens when we go deviating!”

“Look, I don’t think it’s a bad idea if we try other things. Starfire has a good point.”

“Try other… try other things? Pizza is default!”

“C’mon, B. It’s not a bad idea to eat something different. Don’t you think so, Raven?”

She jerked a little, her eyes refocusing on Cyborg’s face and forced a blank stare, her expression never betraying what she had seen. “Whatever you guys want. I’m not that hungry.”

“See! Raven thinks we should-”

“She just said she wasn’t hungry! Her opinion doesn’t count!”

Raven ignored the rest of what they were saying, and instead she turned to see  _ his _ shadow just outside of the entrance to a dark alleyway, while her friends continued arguing over which restaurant to go to. They were in a different part of town, far from their usual pizza joint, and both Cyborg and Starfire were vying for a new place to eat with a variety of food. Robin practically caved the moment Starfire batted her bright green eyes at him, and Beast Boy was still fighting for a place that had vegan options. It was the same song and dance they did almost every night, it just happened to take place on a different stage. 

And then she saw him - Jason. 

He caught her eye, his expression a mixture between surprised at his serendipity of seeing her, and scared completely shitless that Robin would look slightly to the right and see him standing there. Raven crossed her arms over her chest and lifted an eyebrow, watching his feet shuffle before he ducked back down the alleyway. Checking to make sure her friends were otherwise occupied in their argument, Raven mumbled a “I saw this thing in a window I want to look at” and wandered off, following Jason’s trail. 

She turned into the alleyway, and saw his outline shaded by faded streetlights and dark shadows. “So… I take it you live around here?”

“Nope, not at all.” He stepped into a flickering light and she saw his trademark smirk mar his otherwise attractive face. 

“Don’t tell me you’re following me then?”

“ _ Bzzt _ . Wrong again.” He took another few steps closer to her, hiding in the shadows again. “There’s a shop not too far from here that has the best Pad Thai I’ve ever had. I was just picking up takeout when I happened across  _ you _ .” He leaned in close and tapped his forefinger against her sternum, looking down into her eyes. “And while I’ve never really been the kind of man who’ll have dessert before dinner, for you I’ll make an exception.”

Raven swallowed slowly, keeping her expression emotionless as she tried to contain the way her heart beat. He was testing her, trying to rile her up, trying to make her think of all the times they had snuck away to their pay-by-the-hour motel room and fucked like animals in heat. And honestly, he was doing a good job. Her mind started to wander to the memory of her body pressed against the table as he took over her senses - over and over and over again until she completely lost control of her emotions. Yes, they had seen each other just a few days ago, and yet somehow her body was already  _ aching _ for him. She felt too hot, too full, too sensitive, too much of  _ everything _ , where it felt like she would supernova if he didn’t touch her soon. 

But… that would break the rules. One fuck. One night. Once a week. No more. No less. 

Raven set her jaw and looked up at him in defiance. “You don’t actually  _ think _ that I’m here because I want you?”

“You came into a dark secluded alley to consort with a man you _personally_ _know_ to be a rogue. So… _yeah_, I do think you want me. I think you want me so bad you don’t even know how to articulate it, Raven.” He checked his watch and his smile somehow turned more devious, and _that_ was dangerous. “We have a whole twenty minutes before my Pad Thai is ready, and I’m guessing at _least_ another ten before your friends finally dig themselves out of their restaurant argument… we could have a little _fun_.”

She licked her lips and knew that he saw the movement. 

The thought was tempting. 

“You know the rules.”

“I don’t have to fuck you, you know…” He leaned closer to her, nose brushing up against her own. He smelled of expensive cologne, and it made her mouth water. It should be illegal for him to carry himself the way he did. Jason just chuckled. “I can get you off in a number of ways that don’t include… what did you call it?  _ Packing heat? _ ”

She blushed, but held her ground as best as she could. “My friends are twenty feet away.”

He glanced over her shoulder. “Oh, I know. That’s what makes this  _ fun _ .” His fingertips slipped just underneath the waistband of her jeans and pulled her closer. He flicked open the fly on her button and his finger wiggled the zipper down just a little. “I bet I can get you off in five minutes with my fingers alone.” 

_ Fucking hell _ .

“I bet I can get you off with my tongue in even less time.”

“You’re goading me again.”

“Oh,  _ Princess _ , I’m  _ always _ goading you.” He slipped his fingers under the waistband of her panties and grinned down at her. “You’re the best fuck I’ve  _ ever _ had, and you don’t even know it. The  _ things _ I could do to you…  _ mmm _ … You know, one of these days we’re gonna take a whole day just to explore all of each other’s little ticks, and then I’m gonna fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk for a week.”

“That sounds-”

“Like a promise.” He cut her off and slipped his fingers even lower, his index finger tracing back and forth over her core. It was just enough to light up her nerve-endings and awaken her desire in her, but not enough to give her the full pleasure that she needed to reach orgasm. He just teased her a little, taking his time while he stared into her eyes. It felt strangely intimate, even if it was more than just a little wrong. Slowly, he slid a single finger into her, his smile fading into a look of dangerous desire as he stroked her. 

Raven swallowed hard, feeling the need to beg him to  _ do something _ dance over her tongue. She hadn’t even realized how much she wanted him to take her, and how much this slow teasing was going to drive her completely and utterly wild. Her lips parted and she took in soft, quiet gasps of air as he pulled his finger from her core and traced little circles over her too-sensitive clit. He rolled it between his fingers, watching her expression with rapt attention. 

“So… what do you think,  _ Raven _ ?”

“What… what do I think about  _ what? _ ” Her eyes fluttered closed and she let go of a low moan. 

“What do you think about spending an entire day fucking each other senseless?”

That sounded  _ wonderful _ . Not that she would ever tell  _ him _ that, she still valued her dignity after all. She licked her lips again, leaning into him as his fingers continued to flick and tease her to the point where she nearly forgot to breathe. She was hanging precariously on the edge of sanity, all of her senses now in overdrive. Her hands reached out and held tightly to the fabric of his shirt, pulling herself close to him. She took a deep breath, her head practically spinning as little, electrical shocks zipped and sparked over her skin. Any moment now, her entire body was going to explode, and she was helpless against the feeling.

“Raven?”

_ Shit.  _ Cyborg.

Jason chuckled and pulled his hand away from her. “Seems I overestimated our time together, Princess. We’re about to be caught.” He lifted his finger to his mouth and curled his tongue around the tip, still smirking at her. “Till next time, I guess.”

“Wait. Jas-”

He disappeared into the shadows again, and Raven couldn’t feel his presence anymore.That asshole ditched her. He  _ ditched _ her, right when she was primed and ready for orgasm, he left her hanging to the edge, clamoring for something -  _ anything  _ \- to get her off. Cyborg picked one  _ hell _ of a time to come find her. 

Raven cursed under her breath and fixed her clothes quickly, praying Cyborg didn’t see anymore that what he was supposed to. She cleared her throat and ran her hand through her hair, looking up into his curious face. He looked over her shoulder, trying to see who she might have been talking to, but when he didn’t find anyone, he shrugged and jerked his head to their friends.

“C’mon, let’s go. There’s a Thai place half a block from here that’s supposed to be pretty good.” 

“Okay.”

She licked her lips and her cheeks flushed. Just what in the world had she gotten herself into? 


	5. Chapter 5

Did she have to be so damn  _ rough _ with him? He needed to be in tip-top shape if they were going to screw later. At least, he was  _ hoping _ they would screw later. She still had to agree to his request, but he was at least mildly hopeful.

“What in the world do you think you’re doing, Jason?” 

He grunted and bit back a curse when he smacked his head against the wall, stars flashing behind his eyes. Shaking his head to clear the pain, he looked up into the shadows above him, watching as they stretched and moved like and unknown force was possessing them. Something in his chest tightened and he felt the familiar cool feeling of her magic rippled down his sternum, as if bleeding straight into his heart. A few rooms away, the sounds of her teammates fighting against his traps could be heard, but none of them seemed to notice that their little bird teammate was far away from them and  _ oh-so close _ to him. Good. It gave him just a little bit more privacy.

“I’m trying to gain your affections, Princess.”

She glared, her lips twitching again. “You’re being an asshole.”

“You tell me that almost everyday.” He grinned, shifting a little under her hands. “Really, Princess. I’m surprised you’re acting so cold to me, you know how I am after all. Did you honestly think that I would go out on a mission and not even  _ try _ to rile my favorite Titan up?”

“I’m not your favorite. Starfire is, remember?”

Her words were so cool and so steely that a shiver rippled down his spine. He clenched his teeth together to keep from shouting at her. She was an idiot sometimes. A complete idiot. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly. It wouldn’t do him any good to go shouting at her right now. No, he still had to convince her to break their rules and see him a second time this week. He was desperate for her, like a junkie that couldn’t get a hit of his favorite drug, and arguing with her was only going to push her further away. That was  _ certainly _ something he didn’t want. 

He shifted and tilted his head to look into her eyes, his heart slamming against his ribs.  _ God _ , he didn’t realize how much he needed her until she was so fucking close. “Tonight.”

Confusion rippled across her face before her cheeks flush brightly, her hands around his wrists tightening just a little in surprise.  _ Yeah _ , she remembered that night. How could she forget anyway? Raven looked around at the empty room, looking for any sign of her teammates before dropping her voice just below a whisper. “I saw you two days ago, Jason. This is completely unnecessary.”

He shrugged, not bothering to struggle against her anymore. He was solely focused on trying to win her over. “I want you again, so sue me.” 

“I am serious.” Her voice was sharp, reminding him that he was inching very,  _ very  _ close to danger. “Once a week, Jason… that was the rule, and we are trying to keep that rule in tact.” 

“Pft. We’re doing a terrible job with that rule anyway.” He shrugged. “Besides, one exception isn’t going to break the rules.”

Her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed. “That’s what you said two weeks ago.”

“Yeah, and you still let me finger you in an alley. So it’s just as much my fault as yours.” He paused and his smile widened. “Which reminds me, Raven.  _ Did  _ you touch yourself that night? When you got home, and your body was still hot and full, did you spread your legs and finger yourself? Did you touch yourself and imagine it was m-”

“Robin. And yes, Jason, I did. I did in fact imagine it was Robin touching me.” Her eyes narrowed. 

She was fucking  _ playing _ with him. He clenched his jaw again, trying to keep his composure again. He knew what they had agreed to, but things were changing beyond his control, and now he was fighting to understand what exactly this was between them. He wanted her to have the same confused feelings he did. He needed to know that he wasn’t alone in this bizarre relationship that they had created together. 

“Nice to know.”

Her lips trembled just a little, as if she was fighting off something she wanted to say. 

“So, who cares if we break a few rules, Princess? We made them we can break them.” He shrugged, trying to keep his strange feeling of desperation from controlling his emotions. Instead, he tried to focus on the physical need that was taking root in his veins. It was so much easier to forget the butterflies and confusion in his stomach when he was paying more attention to his dick. “I was horny, and you said-”

Her lips twitched. “No, Jason.”

“ _ You want it _ .”

He could see the flicker of lust in her eyes, the little bit of shadows that crept in the corners of her vision. That thought alone made his entire body tighten with need. She wanted to see him again, wanted to make love -  _ no. _ Not make love.  _ Fuck _ . She wanted to fuck him. Fucking was all they did. Nothing more. Nothing less. But still… the fucking was nice. He licked his lips as thought about her body pinned underneath his own as he thrust in and out of her, gorging himself on her desire and her moans. The sight of her tits bouncing and her hair a terrible mess as she came over and over. God, that sounded fucking delicious. A shiver rippled down his spine and his cock jumped in anticipation. 

“Yes. I want it.” 

He licked his lips again. Hearing her admit it so plainly did nothing but make him want her even more. Wiggling his wrists in her grasp, he looked down into her eyes again. He was weak enough that he’d bargain for just a little bit more of her wonderful body. 

“Tell you what…”

She lifted an eyebrow in silent question.

“...I’ll give up the tech I pilfered for one extra night with you.”

Her lips pursed. “Are you bartering stolen goods for sex?”

“No?  _ Yes _ . Okay, you’re right. Yes, I am bartering my tech and my job for you to break your rules and see me more than just once this week.” He cocked his head to the side, staring at her plump lips, imagining them wrapped around his cock again. He thought about the way she looked between his legs, staring up into his face as her tongue did something delicious and dangerous to him. He needed her. He needed her now. But he would wait another three hours to take her in every way imaginable… provided she agreed at the very least. 

He wiggled his hands again. “So?”

“Only because I want the tech back.” Raven sighed reluctantly before she dropped her hands and looked around. Outside their little, secluded room, was the sound of her teammates escaping his traps. “And my teammates are starting to break free, so we better agree to this before either of us get caught.”

“They’re just meant to be distractions for a little bit, Princess. I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone, especially not your precious little bird boy.” He leaned closer and tucked the jump drive in her sleeve. “Nine tonight. Our usual room. I just need you to think about how you want it tonight.”

“Tie me up.” Her words were practically breathy with anticipation, dripping with need. The sound was erotic enough to drive him wild, but he leaned back and let her continue, watching her was rapt attention. “Please, tie me up and…” She trailed off, her teeth coming out to capture her lower lip as she stopped herself from continuing.

Jason’s body tightened again and he leaned forward,  _ needing _ to hear those words from her. “Tie you up and…  _ what _ , Princess?”

Her eyes flicked away from him. 

“ _ What _ , Raven?” 

All she had to do was say-

“Spank me.”

His lips split into a smile and his cock jumped again.  _ Fuck yes _ .

“Mmm… for being so  _ naughty _ ?” He leaned close to her ear, dropping his voice an octave so she could hear every little nuance in his voice. So that  _ she _ could hear his own need. “For being such a very,  _ very _ bad girl you want to be punished? Spanked? Bent over my knee as I give you the punishment you so very much deserve?”

Her breath was going in soft, needy gasps, and it took everything in Jason’s power not to shove his hand between her legs and feel how deliciously wet she was. Split her lips and watch her desire drip down his fingers as he rolled her clit and teased it, as he slipped his fingers deep into her body, pleasuring her. He wanted to throw her up against the wall and finger her, her pale cheeks turning ripe with color, her deep red lips parting with every curse and moan, and the sight of need in her eyes when her body finally gave into pleasure. He wanted to see  _ all of her _ , unadulterated and completely, unapologetically  _ her _ . Jason dropped his hands to her hips, pulling her tightly against his body and rubbing just a little. She could feel his erection through his suit, and her eyes widened. 

Jason grinned and took a step back. “ _ Nine _ , Princess.”

Her tongue slipped over her lips. “Nine.” 

“And I promise to spank you so hard you can’t sit down the next day without think of me.” 

“Don’t make promises unless you intend on keeping them.”

“Oh, Princess… I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”


	6. Chapter 6

Jason felt a bit like he was dreaming, his head was light and his blood was pumping through his veins loudly. He could feel his fingers shaking just a little, his chest filled with excitement and just a little bit of wonder at the thought that she trusted him enough to do this with her. Yeah, he knew it was only because she was secretly kinky and desperate to get off, but still the idea that she would relinquish her control to  _ him _ of all people had to say something, right? Maybe. Maybe not. Jason wanted to pretend for just a little that maybe it did, and maybe she was reluctantly beginning to consider him at least something more than just a good fuck. 

He leaned back and admired his handiwork with a soft smile. The ribbon was a deliciously sinful shade of red. It criss-crossed up and down her forearms, weaving around each other until it ended in a neat and pretty bow right at the small indent of her wrists. Raven wiggled her fingers, making sure that the ties were loose enough to escape and still allowed blood flow if she tugged a little too tightly during the heat of their…  _ activities _ . 

“You sure you still want this, Princess?” Jason drug his finger over the silk ribbon, tracing the intricate patterns with a smile. Something wild and almost feral seemed to scratch at his surface, begging to be free. “There’s no shame in admitting that you’ve gotten in over your-”

“ _ Red. _ ”

He licked his lips and lifted an eyebrow. “Hm?”

“ _ Red _ ,” she repeated, her voice low and drawn out. Her dark eyes met his own and she jerked her head in the direction of the bed, reminding him that this entire situation was nothing more than a transaction for her. It stung, and Jason tried not to take offense to her approach. She blinked and moved closer to him, standing on her tiptoes to look into his deep green eyes. “If I need you to stop, I will say  _ red _ . If I need you to slow down or give me a break,  _ yellow _ . Like a stoplight, Jason. Don’t forget to stop and check in on me if you think you’re being too hard.”

Jason lifted an eyebrow. “Oh,  _ Princess _ … what makes you think I haven’t done this before?”

Her eyes widened a little, and he could tell that she hadn’t even considered that thought. Glancing down at the intricate ribbon on her arms, she began to realize that if there was anyone who would be educated and equipped to give her what she desperately wanted, it would be him. Jason just chuckled and he stepped closer to her, curling his fingers underneath her chin to tilt her face up to his own. 

“I can assure you, I’m  _ well versed _ in what we’re about to do.”

Her cheeks flushed, and Jason had never wanted to kiss her more in his life. His heart was hammering, his body tightening, and it felt like his head might float away any second, but he  _ couldn’t kiss her _ . It was against their rules - well,  _ her  _ rules anyway - and he valued their time together too much. He wasn’t going to lose her all because he couldn’t control himself. 

“Now…” Jason ignored his emotions, pushing them to the back of his mind quickly, and sat down on the edge of the bed, patting his lap with a smile. “Come on, Princess. It’s time for me to remind you what a very,  _ very _ naughty girl you’ve been.”

There was a moment of hesitation in her eyes, and Jason half expected her to yell out ‘Red’ and work her way to the door. But, if there was one thing Raven was, it was that she was full of surprises. She inched closer and he waited patiently as she crawled over his lap, laying her stomach and hips on the tops of his thighs as her forehead pressed against her tied wrists. It was surprisingly submissive, and Jason found himself incredibly aroused by the thought that she so willingly put her pleasure in his hands. 

Smiling, Jason drew his hands up and down the back of her thighs, resting on the plump flesh of her ass. Raven squirmed a bit, digging her hips up against his growing erection, and Jason let go of a soft breath. It was taking all of his willpower to draw this out. He wanted to dive into her, to spank her until she was good and red, to eat her out like she was a treat, and then  _ finally _ he would fuck her. But  _ Jesus Christ _ , the things he dreamed about doing to her…

“I’m going to warm you up.”

Her eyes closed and she let go of a soft breath. 

“And then I’ll give you what you want.”

She shuddered, and Jason wondered if he was floating in some kind of filthy dream he never wanted to wake up from. Licking his lips, he drew his hand up and down the curve of her ass, taking a moment to massage the flesh and watch her pale skin turn pink and flush. She shivered, and her hips pushed against him again, moving in time with his little touches. Staring down at her, Jason allowed himself the fantasy that they were anywhere but in this skeevy motel room, dodging their feelings that they were the plague. He let himself  _ feel _ like there was  _ something _ between them.

His stare followed the curve of her spine, landing the little tattoo of a raven in flight near her left hip. Smiling, he feathered his fingertip over the shape before dragging his palm back over her. “We’ll start with five, get your pretty little ass good and ready.”

She nodded, taking in a soft, shaky breath. 

Jason smiled and he drew his hand back just a little, letting his fingers and the soft flesh of his palm land just at the bottom of her ass, just above her thighs. Raven shifted, making a weird, uncharacteristic squeak. He chuckled softly under his breath and brought his hand down again, this time relishing in the little squeak turning into a moan. The third smack started with a gasp, her hands tightening in the red, silk ribbon as she pushed her hips up against his growing erection. The fourth made her moan loudly, her hips bucking against his lap. The fifth made her scream, her hands, still tied tight and pretty, coming out to dig into the comforter.

“Color, Little Bird?” He tasted the endearment on his tongue, suddenly praying she didn’t notice. It was one thing to call her “Princess”, but a completely different thing to call her something so soft and personal. He shifted again and waited for her response. “ _ Color? _ ”

“ _ Green _ .” 

Her voice sounded weak, but pleased, and she was shivering, her pupils dilated with pleasure. Tears were gathering at the corners of her eyes, and she was nearly shaking with need. Jason smiled and he ran his palm over the bright red marks on her ass, tracing little hearts with his fingertips. Raven gasped, shivering and shuddering as she twisted just enough to look up into his eyes. 

“ _ M-more _ .”

Her voice skipped, shuddering under the force of her emotions, and Jason felt like he was going to lose himself in pleasuring her. It was almost as if their souls were slowly becoming entwined and completely unable to separate from one another. Still trembling, she ran her tongue over her lower lip and rested her forehead against her wrists. Each breath sounded strangely delicate, as if she was on the verge of simply falling apart.

“Please, Jason.  _ More _ .”

He grabbed a handful of her ass, squeezing and teasing as he smiled softly. “I’m going to go harder this time, and I’m going to count to ten. Think you can handle it, Princess?”

“ _ P-please _ .”

“That’s a good girl.” He tapped her gently before bringing back his hand, raising it higher than he had. He took a long moment to admire the sight of her like this, completely tied up and at his disposal, her pink ass raised right above his lap, and yet still begging for more. Still begging for him to take full advantage of her body, and bring her to her knees. Jason smiled and brought his hand down with a deafening smack. 

“ _ One. _ ”

Raven let go of a scream, gasping between breaths and twisting her fists into the comforter. Jason’s hand trembled and he felt his heart skip a beat as he lifted his hand and brought it down against her flesh again, the sound of skin against skin almost like music. Each time he touched her, he counted out exactly what she wanted, warning her about all the things he was going to do once he was done reminding her what a  _ bad little girl _ she was. Raven’s hips pushed up against him, the friction rubbing and pushing against his already sensitive erection and reminding him how  _ badly _ he wanted her. Jesus fucking Christ, he wanted her the same way he wanted air or water - it was a  _ need _ . Every ounce of him needed her.

His hand came down for a final time, and she twitched and writhed. “ _ Ten. _ ”

She whimpered.

“Color, Raven.”

“ _ Yell- _ ” She took a slow breath and her eyes fluttered with desire. “ _ Green _ .”

Jason just smirked.

Raven was trembling, shivers running up and down her spine as she tugged at the ribbon around her wrists, twisting as she tried to find strength in her legs. She stumbled, raising herself up onto her knees and straddling his hips. Jason simply sat there and watched her, eyeing the delicious sight of her essence dripping down the length of her pale thighs. She was so close to coming, so close that it was probably boiling just under her skin. All it would take was a few fevered thrusts from him and she would be writhing and screaming all over again. 

Jason smiled and slowly -  _ very  _ slowly - unfastened his pants and slipped them down his legs and onto the floor. “Are you going to ride me, Princess?”

She nodded, still not sinking down onto his erection just yet.

“Don’t wait, Princess.” 

He took her tied wrists in his hands and raised them far above her head, stretching her out over him and leaving her practically helpless. She looked wonderful with her flushed face and tears of need and desire spilling over her cheeks. Each gasp of her breath reminded her that in this moment, every ounce of her pleasure was in his control. She gave him this power, and he wanted nothing more that to give her back everything she ever wanted. Jason tugged on her wrists again and pushed his hips up so that the tip of his erection nudged at her. 

“Come on, Princess… I can  _ feel _ how much you want this, and how quickly this will all be over. You are so ready, so  _ wet _ .” He kissed up her neck, licking at the sweat that clung to her skin. She tasted like sin and need, and he was going to lose his fucking mind if she didn’t  _ do something _ . “ _ Fuck me. _ ”

Without warning, Raven sunk down on him, taking every inch of him inside her. Thighs trembling with the ache of desire and exhaustion, she rode him with every ounce her body would allow. Jason could feel her moans and screams practically reverberate through his cock and into her chest, and his hands tightened even more on her wrists, letting her set the pace with what limited movement she was allowed. It felt  _ so fucking good _ . Every time they met it felt good, but tonight? Tonight was sin personified. Tonight felt like their emotions were going to swallow them whole and all they would be left with was this unending, aching need. 

He yanked on her wrists again, looking up into her face. “I can feel you, Raven… You’re so close. Come on, Pretty Bird,  _ make me come _ .”

She whimpered and her pace grew frantic, pushing against him as she  _ desperately _ sought her release. Jason dropped his free hand to the small space between their bodies, and he rubbed his fingers over her clit, giving them both the last little push they needed to fall over that last precipice. Raven screamed and she took him deep, her muscles thrumming and trembling all over him. He growled and let go of a cry that wasn’t entirely human, dropping her wrists as he grabbed her hips and gave a few, frantic thrusts up into her core. 

It was all he needed before electricity exploded behind his eyes and he found himself flying through the stars. Clenching his teeth together, he barely managed to keep Raven’s name from falling from his lips, the pleasure making him practically forget his own name but not hers. It was as if the world had opened up and was swallowing him whole. He shook and trembled gasping a few, deep breaths as he cascaded down from the sky. 

He fell back against the comforter and looked up into her face with a smile spreading across his lips. He probably looked like an idiot, grinning so foolishly, but he couldn’t stop himself. He hadn’t felt this good…  _ ever _ really. He couldn’t remember the last time sex with anyone had felt the way it did with her. 

Jason reached up and undid the ribbon around her wrists, letting it fall to the floor forgotten. It had been used, and now he didn’t need it anymore. He pulled her tightly against his chest as he somehow finagled both of them under the covers. Raven whined just a bit and tried to keep some kind of distance between them, but Jason just sighed and kept her closer. 

“Stop wiggling.”

“Let me go.”

“It’s called  _ aftercare _ , Princess, and it’s very important.” He tucked her underneath his chin and wrapped his arms around her, running his fingers up and down her spine. Slowly she began to relax, letting her eyes close and resting her forehead against his collarbone. Jason somehow kept himself from kissing the top of her head, and instead continued to stroke her hair. “It gives you a moment to recoup emotionally and physically so you aren’t hurt - no matter what that injury might be. So?  _ Calm down _ , and let me hold you for a little while, okay?”

Raven shivered, her hands wrapping tightly around his waist as she pulled him closer. “S-sorry.”

“Mm…” He glanced down at her and felt his heart twist, wanting nothing more than to stay like this for the rest of the night. It felt natural to have her in his arms, almost as if she was supposed to be there. Jason found himself nuzzling her softly, letting her come down from her high as his hands traced little patterns against her back. “Do you need anything? How are your wrists? How-”

“I’m fine.” Raven’s voice was curt, a little cold around the edges. She adjusted in his arms and glanced up at him for a brief moment. “I’m only doing this to appease you.”

Jason bit back a sigh and a snarky response, choosing instead to loosen his hold around her waist.

“I didn’t say you could let go.”

He smiled and his arms tightened again. “Just tell me when you’re ready to go, Raven.”

She sighed. 


	7. Chapter 7

Raven leaned against the guardrail in the breezeway outside their normal room, staring at the chipped paint along the doorframe. Behind her she heard the felt… pathetic. More than pathetic, actually. She felt down-right disgusting. Every cell in her body screamed at her to turn around and run away, her heart skipped and slammed against her ribs as her memories from last week surfaced into the forefront of her mind. They seemed to swirl into her veins, reminding her of all the deliciously sinful things they had indulged in last week. 

True to his word, her body was bright red and sore the sex morning, and sitting down became a painful chore that secretly delighted her to no end. Every twinge of pain made her recall how he made her feel, and then there was…  _ that _ . That deep feeling that started twisting in and around her heart to the point that it seemed inextricable from herself.

Raven closed her eyes and her hands tightened on the guardrail, thumb feathering over a rust spot that had been painted over. She took a slow, shaky breath and let herself remember the feeling of his arms around her, how warm she had felt when he tucked her so easily underneath his chin and how wonderfully soft and peaceful his heartbeat felt. She remembered his fingers running up and down her back as he talked to her about something mundane. She couldn’t remember what it was  _ exactly _ , but it had been interesting to hear him like that. 

He was surprisingly at ease around her, little flecks of his true self were starting to break through the facade he played flawlessly. Jason had always worn the snide and clever asshole persona as if it were a second skin, but it also seemed so…  _ fake _ . Letting him hold her, whispering little things to her as he brought her down from her high, she could feel his honesty start to take over, as if he wanted to show her everything he really was. And while Raven knew she could staunch her curiosity for a little while, she was almost certain that eventually her control would wane, and she would be searching him out just to understand him a little bit more. 

She sighed, letting her head fall back against her shoulders as she took in a shaky breath. 

What in the world was she  _ doing _ ?

Why was she here? Outside this hotel room, feeling…  _ conflicted _ . Maybe that was the best way to describe it,  _ conflicted _ . There were parts of her that were becoming all mixed in with his, so much that she was having trouble keeping her distance from him, and that was why she was here -  _ again _ . 

Raven knew it was terrible for her to be doing this, and she could feel the little bubble of guilt hiss and sputter in her chest, like it was acid trying to eat away her dignity. Her hands were shaking as she slid the key into the worn lock, watching the neon lights flicker strange, almost metaphysical shadows onto the chipped paint in front of her. She took a deep breath and calmed her nerves, trying to keep a level head in this situation, but finding no redeeming qualities about what she was going to do. And with  _ him _ of all people? 

There was doubt bubbling up in her, doubt that this was still just all just part of their agreement - a way to let off steam as they both hopelessly pined after people they couldn’t love. Raven wanted to love Robin, and Jason wanted to love Starfire, but these were people who would never love them back. It was sick and twisted, and Jason and Raven practically loathed each other, but they could at least find solace in the fact that they were good in bed. 

_ Very _ good in bed, if her still-bruised ass was any indication.

Raven’s hand stilled finally, and she opened the door with a soft curse. She wanted to run away, but needed to be near him, and how  _ pathetic _ was that? 

Jason looked up at her as she walked in, a thin smile peeling across his dangerous mouth. He gave her a once-over and cocked his head to the side. Raven swallowed, her eyes following the length of his nude form slowly. He was already naked, a bottle of whiskey in one hand, his fully-erect cock in the other, a bad porno playing on the television. He looked up at her and lifted an eyebrow as a disgustingly fake moan escaped one of the girls’ mouthes. Jason licked his lips and took another gulp of the whiskey in his hand, barely biting back a grimace at the burn.

“I see you got my message.”

“I see all  _ tact _ has left you completely. You couldn’t even wait until I got here?” 

He shrugged, obviously uncaring of her opinion. He continued to stroke his cock, the movement easy and steady as if he wasn’t sure if he wanted to come yet or not. “I’ve got my ways of making you scream all night. What’s the difference if I enjoy myself a little first?” He paused briefly and licked his lips with that sly smile again. “Besides, the girl has nice tits.”

His response was so flippant, so  _ fake _ that Raven knew he was throwing up those barriers again, trying to hide that tiny glimpse of honest humanity that she had managed to see last time she was here. She shifted on her feet, looking over at the television as a bleach-blonde girl dropped to her knees and began giving a sloppy, uncoordinated blow job. Jason pretended to enjoy it, but there was a shadow of disgust in his stare. This wasn’t what he wanted, it was just a show. 

“Turn it off.”

He looked over at her, setting the bottle of whiskey down as he groped for the television remote. 

“I can’t be here all night.” Raven dropped her coat onto a chair and pulling the curtains tightly around the window. She tried to keep the facade up, to keep everything as it had been for weeks - just lust, just need,  _ just a good fuck _ . It didn’t do her any good to dwell on him. “I have a team…  _ thing _ to do later tonight, and right now the others have no idea I’m gone. I’d like to keep it that way if you don’t mind. In spite of everything going on right now, I actually like my place on the team.”

“Like your place on the team?” Jason snorted, his lips twitching. “Even though Starfire is fucking Dick senseless?” He took another gulp of whiskey as he said her name, and his stare focused on the blank TV screen. “How’s that working out anyway? Don’t you share a wall with him? I bet that’s a real fucking pleasure for you, hearing them fuck like goddamned animals at all hours of the night. Does she scream out his name when she comes? Or just X’hal?”

“You’re so crass. I should wash that mouth out with soap.” 

His lips twitched and he smiled at her. “Oh, come on, Princess. You like my dirty, filthy mouth.” He flicked his tongue at her in a reminder of what that mouth could do between her legs.

Raven shivered at the delicious thought, and she began to undress, neatly folding her clothes into a pile on the chair. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Jason’s stare following her form, as if he were completely  _ fascinated _ with every movement of of her fingers. He watched with rapt attention as she slid her jeans down her thighs and pulled off her shirt. His hand tightened around the neck of the whiskey bottle, and his other hand fell away from his cock, leaving it standing proud and flush against his stomach. 

Raven licked her lips and pulled off her bra and panties, leaving them on top of the pile. “So what, Jason? Don’t tell me that I snuck out of the tower to come here just to watch you jack off to bad porn.”

“I turned the TV off.” He took another gulp of whiskey. “Besides, why would I watch porn when I can lay here and watch you undress.”

It was an oddly soft, almost endearing sentiment in spite of it coming from his mouth. Raven shifted, watching the cracks show in his facade before he covered them up again, and her heart skipped a beat. Why was she fascinate with those cracks? “That’s a strangely sweet thing to say, coming from  _ you _ .”

“Oh don’t get me wrong, right now I’m thinking about fucking your tits too.” 

She rolled her eyes. 

“And you like seeing my cock, admit it.”

Raven crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. “I like seeing your cock? Please. Your cock is just a temporary relief for a bigger problem and you know it.” She walked over to the bed but didn’t sit down. Instead she cocked her hip to the side and eyed the whiskey still in his hand. If she was going to admit to herself that she was really here with him, fighting this tempest of confusing emotions inside her, then she would need something stronger than just his pathetic banter. She was going to need to feel that same burn of drunk that he was.

He took another swallow before handing the bottle to her. “Don’t let me stop you, Pretty Bird.”

Raven snorted at the nickname and took a long drink of the disgusting whiskey, it slid down her insides like poison, pulling at her as if it meant to do nothing more than damage. She could handle this pain, it was easier that handling her own thoughts. She didn’t want to feel right now, she only wanted to get off and get home and hope that her thoughts were still intact and far far away from…  _ whatever this was _ . 

Raven wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, glaring at him as she crawled back onto the bed. She swung a leg over his hips, resting her body against his thighs as she nudged up against him slowly. His cock rubbed against her belly, sending heat burning through her veins, zipping into her central nervous system and mingling with the whiskey until everything felt fuzzy and out of focus. His hands slipped up the backs of her thighs, resting on the flesh of her still-tender ass and squeezing just a little, bringing her close enough to him so that his erection rubbed against her clit. 

“You’re eager tonight.”

“I’m on a time-crunch.” Raven took another gulp of whiskey and raised herself up on her knees, hovering over him as her eyes watched his own with a sort of guarded curiosity. She didn’t want to pry, but she couldn’t help but feel fascinated. She twisted her hips again and the head of his erection nudged against her, practically begging to be inside her, but Raven didn’t give in. Not yet anyway. “So, I need to get off and get off now, before the rest of the team realizes where I am.”

“Well, consider me at your disposal.”

She didn’t want to need this, but she couldn’t deny herself anymore -  _ she needed this _ .


	8. Chapter 8

The emotions inside him were practically warring against each other. In this exact moment he felt a sort of strange feeling of depravity at what they were doing, wanting so much more than this easy (albeit  _ phenomenal _ ) sex. His heart twisted and his chest tightened as her eyes closed and she let go of a desperate moan that seemed to reverberate right into his very soul. Feelings that hadn’t quite solidified into the deepest of words had clung to his lips like poison. He wanted to spit them out, to yell them at her in the heat of the moment just to get them out of his mouth. 

But he didn’t.

Jason just snarled and bit out a forced, staccato curse, hiking her leg up high on his hip as he found the perfect angle to drive himself deep into her. He let go of the emotions that were gathering, and focused instead on the physical pleasure. That was so much easier anyway. 

Raven’s back arched and her arms reached far above her head to grab onto the headboard, trying to hold onto something as her voice reached a fevered pitch, each moan louder than before. It was a cacophony of sin and it only fueled both their wanton desires even more. The headboard banged ruthlessly against the wall with each of his thrusts, each push leaving a mark against the drywall. Jason felt a strange glow of pride as he realized the mark of their ruthless fucking would mar that wall forever. It seemed more fitting for them instead of little hearts carved into trees.

Raven gritted her teeth together, her knuckles turning white as she sought desperately for that glorious peak he offered her. Jason could feel her body tighten around him, muscles twitching as she hung in that glorious space right before orgasm, floating somewhere between pleasure and pain as the world drifted away and the only need that existed was this need right now. Nothing mattered more - not water, not air, not that obnoxious sound of her communicator that he shoved under the bed. No, this. This was what mattered the most, and that knowledge was empowering in its own weird, fucked-up way.

Raven threw back her head, exposing the line of her throat, and she gasped. “Let me come. Please, Jason… please just let me fucking come.”

His lips curled back in a cruel smile. He would never get over the sound of her pathetic begging. It was like music to his ears to hear  _ her _ \- Raven of the Titans - brought to her knees by some very,very good sex. Briefly, he wondered if he should deny her orgasm tonight, but he knew better than to do that. If he left her unsatisfied, it was very likely she would either sit on his face until she was done (although Jason had to admit that thought  _ was _ delicious), or never see him again out of spite (and that outcome was the worst). He had to weigh his options carefully if he wanted to at least have a few more nights of unadulterated pleasure.

Growling low in his throat, he dropped his hand to her clit and rubbed quick, sharp circles over her. It was then that she lost complete control of herself, and Raven descended into madness. Jason watched her body spasm and shiver until her voice filled the small hotel room with a scream that was sure to wake the dead. If they weren’t in a seedy motel in the middle of nowhere, he was practically  _ certain _ that someone would have called the cops. 

Raven thrashed and twitched around him, milking him for everything he was worth, each little shock of pleasure somehow turned into his own and Jason could see stars flashing behind his eyes. It was only seconds later that he joined her, his own body shaking and trembling as he came. His head dropped to her shoulder, and he nearly let go of Raven’s name, falling from his lips with that soft sound of desperation and need and want.  _ God _ , he wanted to say it so bad. He wanted to say it more than he wanted to breathe. 

But instead, he grunted out “Starfire” in its place. Starfire’s name was an easy, flawless lie, and a shiver of relief went through him, for just a little while longer the ruse was still in place. Jason felt her still beneath him, still swallowing air, and he looked down at Raven, watching her. 

“I can’t…” Raven paused to catch her breath, staring up into his eyes as her body twitched and trembled around him, still riding the high of pleasure. 

Jason waited for her sharp tongue to point out the fact that he called out Starfire’s name in bed instead. There was a part of him that wanted her to be angry, to shout and scream and beg that he call out  _ her _ name instead. He wanted Raven to want him with that same depraved feeling he had for her, and to know that this ‘easy sex’ arrangement was falling apart with every passing moment. 

He wanted her to want him with the same way he wanted her. 

She shook her head and pushed at his shoulders, rolling him off her body. “…I can’t believe you did it again… keep me so fucking late. The others have to know I’m out by now. What part of ‘I was in a hurry’ did you  _ not _ understand?” 

Jason ‘s heart twisted, but he managed to keep his expression blank. If she didn’t want to acknowledge that he forced out Starfire’s name, he wasn’t going to press it. He still hoped, but that didn’t do him any good anyway. He shrugged and watched her stand up, her ass bright red from his spanking earlier in the night. His mouth watered, and suddenly he wanted to trace every handprint with his tongue, watching her tremble and fall apart as he-

“My communicator went off!”

“You were too busy screaming to hear it.” He rolled onto his back and looked down at his flaccid cock, resting bright red against his thigh. Clamping down his feelings, he turned and glanced over at her, forcing his trademark smile. “I mean  _ screaming _ , Raven. I thought you might pop a blood vessel there for a minute, you were so loud. I’m surprised the people in another dimension didn’t hear you.”

“Shut up.” Her cheeks flushed, and she looked embarrassed, which was… kinda cute. 

Raven ignored his stare and shimmied into her underwear and jeans, not even bothering to clean the cum from between her thighs. Jason felt something weird in his chest at that thought, but he chose not to dwell on it. Dwelling on it would lead to only more confusion, and this…  _ whatever _ … between them was complicated enough. Instead he turned his attention to the TV, turning it on to another porno. He shrugged and watched her pull her coat back over her shoulders. He didn’t want her to go. He couldn’t handle the thought of her leaving, even if it was only for a little while. Jason couldn’t do anything but admit to himself that he fucking needed her. 

He pushed a hand through his sweat soaked hair. “Coming back after you run out to fight the bad guys, Raven?”

“No.”

He knew that was going to be the answer, but he pressed the issue anyway. 

“You sure?” His eyes flicked to her own before staring back at the porn with feigned interest. If he kept this up, maybe he could keep her at arm’s length. Maybe he could keep her far enough away to save himself from the inevitable. If he played the part of the lusty jackass, he might be able to save him from the heartache he was slowly inflicting on himself. “I was thinking for round two I might eat you out long enough to make you squirt.”

“Ugh. You’re disgusting.”

“You’d love it.” He reached for the half-finished bottle of whiskey and forced a chuckle. Why was he doing this to himself? “You might  _ actually _ pop a blood vessel this time.”

“Do me a favor and go drown yourself in the pool outside.” Raven dropped her key to the hotel room on the table and looked at him, her stare dark and final. The air turned still and she licked her lips slowly, reminding him of the power she held. “You know the rules and you’ve already been breaking them. One fuck. Once a week.”

“Once a week isn’t enough.” He took another long gulp of whiskey, hoping the burn and pain would numb the feeling in his heart. Being drunk was so much easier than facing his emotions, especially when she was looking at him like that. “You know it’s not. You were just as eager last time as you were this time. If I want to see you and you want to see me, then this is how it should work. None of this ‘rules’ shit.”

“Please - and don’t get this confused, Jason - I don’t really  _ want _ to see you.  _ Ever. _ ” Her tongue ran over her lips again and she started for the door, her shoulders square. She was dismissing him, reminding him of their agreement, and she wanted  _ no part _ of the emotional turmoil that Jason was feeling now. “I simply want to fuck you and leave you, and you want to fuck me and leave me. This was the agreement between us. Don’t get it mixed up with something else.”

He shrugged, trying to brush off her words, but they had already wormed their way into his heart, burrowing deep enough to reach tender flesh. Jason brought the whiskey to his lips and downed another gulp to try and wash away the pain. “Well, you fuck like a goddamned porn star, Raven. Sorry I like to get in your pants when you’re so good at it.”

Raven made a noise of disbelief and shook her head. “And  _ that _ must be the reason you scream out Starfire’s name every time you come?” She rolled her eyes and rested her hand on the door handle. “ _ Starfire… _ ” She mocked his little groan and shook her head, a flash of something dark and unreadable skittering across her face before landing on disdain.

Was it just his mind playing tricks, or could he hear the hurt in her voice?

“Fuck off, Jason. I don’t want anything else to do with you. You’re a warm body attached to a very well endowed cock - that’s it.” She opened the door and turned around to stare at him. 

Her eyes were dark, but there was a tremble to her mouth, as if she was fighting back the same tempest of emotions Jason was, and for a single minute he wanted so badly to know that she was having the same mixed feelings. He wanted to know that this easy, simple ‘I hate everything you are and what you stand for sex’ was becoming more and more complicated with each encounter. He wanted to know that everytime she came, that it took all her effort to keep his name from rolling off her tongue. He wanted to know anything that would have transformed this disgusting agreement into something more.

But there was just silence. 

Jason turned and stared back at the television, watching some girl get fucked in the ass as she pleasured herself with a dildo. It was fucking disgusting, but it was just a part of the facade. Just another mask he wore to keep Raven away from him. “Well, I’ll be here all night if you want a repeat performance.”

She snorted, but there was doubt in her eyes. “I’m not coming back tonight.”

He liked his lips and watched another man shove his cock into the girl’s mouth. “Tomorrow?”

Raven took a deep breath. “Saturday.”

He nodded. “Saturday.”

She paused, one foot over the threshold. “And, Jason?”

“Yeah?”

“Next time, pick better porn.”

He smirked. “Sure thing, Rae. I’ll hunt down that classy European shit.”

She rolled her eyes again, letting the door close behind her.

When he was sure that she had left, he turned the TV off and stared at the ceiling, taking long drags of whiskey with each breath. He let the silence fall over him before he fell back onto the pillow she had laid her head against, smelling the sweet scent of her shampoo and lotion. It was lavender and chamomile, and the scent was strangely soothing. Jason closed his eyes and let himself believe for just one moment longer, that she was still here. 

He realized then, in the silence of that skeevy motel room, that he was completely, utterly, and royally  _ fucked _ . 


	9. Chapter 9

She skipped their little meeting last week. 

Of  _ course _ she skipped last week. 

Of  _ course _ she would leave him in this horrible purgatory that was like a weird mixture of sensory deprivation and blue balls all blended together to made him stark, raving mad. His hands clenched against his sides as he watched as she ran the opposite direction of her team, offering a half-hearted explanation as she ducked their confused expressions. Cyborg cast her a curious stare, but only called out for her to be back in time for supper, like she was a little sister who needed to be taken care of. Jason bit back a crass remark, and pressed himself against the shadows as she approached him. 

“I’ve told you not to stalk me.”

He didn’t even have the energy for a witty remark, not when he was riding the edge so close. “You skipped last week.”

She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest as she stepped deeper into the shadows. “I was busy saving Chinatown from an attack. So, you know, I was doing  _ my fucking job? _ ”

He gnashed his teeth, fighting back a desperate growl. “You could have rescheduled.”

“What for?”

Raven lips twitched and she took a half-step closer to him. Her little, pink tongue slipped out of her mouth and wet her lips, and her stare shot down the length of his body in a movement that was almost too quick to recognize. But, Jason knew what it was. It was  _ desire _ . It was the same insatiable, maddening need that coursed through his veins. It was an exact copy of everything he felt, just trapped behind her cold exterior. She wasn’t like him, wearing his emotions like a tell on his face. She was different, more guarded, careful. She was everything he should have been, but he wasn’t. He was  _ pathetic _ and easy to read, and he  _ knew _ that Raven had to see how he felt.

“What purpose does that serve when you know good and well that what we do is purely physical, Jason?” She chewed on her lower lip and moved closer still, her steps practically silent. “You know that I am not going to reschedule a fuck date.” 

“You should.” He snarled down at her, his hands starting to shake. “You look like you need it.”

A shiver went down her spine and her fingers twitched just a little. She looked like she was itching to touch him, to run her nails over his chest as she rode his cock. Her back would arch and her hair would tumble over her shoulders with each push of her hips. She would look completely wanton, and he would  _ love it _ . He would love every minute of her gorgeous, wonderful body. Jason ran his tongue over his teeth and glared at her. 

“Admit it to me that you don’t need it. Look me right in the eyes and tell me truthfully that you haven’t touched yourself thinking it was me.” His eyes narrowed and he pushed himself off the wall, taking a step closer to her and closing the space between them. “Tell me all of this and I will believe that maybe you are telling the truth.”

“I haven’t been imagining you.” She lifted her hand and rested is on his chest, raising herself up on tip-toe to look into his eyes. “I’ve been fingering myself to Robin, and you know it.”

His head spun, his hands shook, blood rushed through his body at speeds he had never imagined. She was  _ trying _ to goad him.  _ Trying _ to break him apart with a few careless comments. Destroying him was easy for her and she was practically reckless. Jason could feel the last dregs of his control leave his body, leaving him feel aching and hollow, with a need he needed to  _ desperately  _ fill. Fine. If she wanted a fight, he would give her a fight. 

Shaking and snarling, Jason slammed her body up against the brick wall of the alley, staring down into her face as he growled behind the mask of his suit. It was breaking him to be so reckless, but he could help himself. The feeling of their claws wrapping around each other’s hearts as they snapped and snarled and yelled at one another was too powerful, and he was could to break. It was so much easier to channel their emotions into this, because hating and fucking didn’t hurt them. At least, that was what Jason kept telling himself. 

He reached down between Raven’s legs and ripped her uniform free, leaving her core bare and glistening against the cold night. Oh, how nice of her, she wasn’t wearing panties. Well, that was certainly convenient.

There was a brief pause as he waited for her protest, but Raven only snapped her teeth, pushing her face up close to his mask in challenge. “Are you gonna do it, Jason? Or are you just going to stare at it all night? Because if you’re not going to hold up your end of the bargain, I’ll find other things to amuse myself.”

She was such a fucking  _ bitch _ sometimes. 

He pushed his fingers inside of her, feeling her body tighten and respond to him. She was deliciously wet, dripping down his fingers and he wanted nothing more than to drop to his knees and eat her out. He wanted to taste her over and over and over again until his mouth hurt and she was screaming for him to stop. But she didn’t deserve that side of him. Not tonight. Not when she’d broken him so easily. He was going to remind her who and what he was - a  _ villain _ with a very,  _ very _ short fuse. 

He curled his fingers to rub against  _ that spot _ , looking down into her eyes with another snarl. “I fucking hate you.” 

Raven lifted her eyes to his face and she laughed, the sound more like a dirge against his ears than a sound of joy. Her fingers found the hair at the nape of his neck and she pulled, trying to retain her position of power. "Trust me, the feeling is mutual, Jason.” She grabbed the collar of his suit and pulled him close to her. “Now, shut up and fuck me or I’m going to go home and leave you here all alone to deal with-” Her hands slipped down his chest to his pants and unfastened his zipper. “- _ this _ .”

“I  _ really _ fucking hate you.”

“Shut up and get on with it.” 

Without another word, he picked her up and slammed her against the wall again, pushing his raging cock into her tight body. She was warm and soft, and everything he had ever dreamt of. He didn’t fully realize how desperately he needed her until this very moment. Jason dropped his head to her shoulder and sank his teeth into the soft flesh of her neck. She let go of a scream, her hips bucking up against his own as she ground her clit against him. Jason shivered, his teeth tightening in her neck as he fought to hold back the surge of emotions coursing through him like hellfire. He wanted this feeling to just go away and leave him, but it was too late and he was already too deep. 

It was as if it their first time all over again - angry, heated, desperate for release. She pined desperately after Robin and Jason was trapped in his unrequited love for Starfire … or so that’s what they had said. Jason couldn’t even remember the color of Starfire’s eyes anymore, but he knew  _ Raven _ . He knew the little freckle under her left eye and the fading scar near her lip. He knew the little face she made when she forced herself to drink his whiskey. He knew the little skip to her voice when they skirted around the question of being anything but  _ fucking.  _ He knew her so well… but  _ this? _ This was all he got, and he was going to make it work, no matter what. 

So, they just fucked just to make the pain stop, and to have the world make sense for a few measly minutes. 

He pounded her body relentlessly, watching her breasts bounce against his chest as she gasped and moaned. Her lips were plump and red, and she was biting out little curses between them as her legs wrapped around his hips. The sight was beautiful and erotic, and he would almost admit that he liked it. He liked this feeling of her in his arms…

But that was a lie. Right now, it had to be a lie. He couldn’t like her… he couldn’t. In the end, it was only going to break his heart. 

He took her hands in his and pinned them above her head to the wall, desperate for her to feel the brick cutting into her skin the way this tryst cut into his heart. He bit into her neck, his body breaking apart with every push of his cock against her. Words filled his subconscious rhythmically, as if they screaming at him in time with his thrusts. They were the same words he always heard when they met in such a disgusting manner.

_ I just fuck her. _

_ I just fuck her. _

_ I just fucking love her. _


	10. Chapter 10

Raven felt like she was drowning in lust and sin and depravity, to the point where she wasn’t sure if she could (or even would) come up for air. It all felt so…

... _ wonderful _ .

There was no other way to describe it. It was as if her body was somewhere else, flying high on endorphins and desire to the point where she was no longer herself. She had become something else entirely, and it felt as though she were flying through the stars, watching the bright lights slip past her as her mind faded away into nothingness. She was completely weightless as she sunk deeper and deeper into this endless need, wrapping herself in pleasure until she was lost to him. 

Eyes fluttering, Raven pressed her cheek tighter against the pillow and let go of a moan that seemed to shake the whole room. Behind her, Jason grunted and cursed, his hands tightening on her hips so much that it felt as though her hips would show signs of bruising in the morning. His hips slammed into her with force, each push shoving her shoulders into the mattress harder, and it felt as though he were trying to forget something with her.

Although, to be fair, he was. He was trying to forget his unrequited love for Starfire, trying to trick himself into believing he was fucking her and not Raven. Raven should have hated that he used her like this, but honestly, she found she didn’t mind it. She didn’t mind being used and abused under his hands, because he fucked her until she couldn’t walk straight, and it took away her own thoughts anyway. It took away all of her emotions and left her only with sensations, and  _ Azar _ , she needed it. She needed for once in her life not to  _ feel _ . 

“ _ Come on _ .” Her voice didn’t sound like her own, it sounded rough and raw, like she was seconds away from supernova. Every nerve ending in her body was on fire, and she wanted nothing more than to go up in flames and feel that sweet,  _ delicious _ release he offered her. Fingers digging into the pillow, she snarled again. “ _ Make me come. I’m so fucking close, you goddamned asshole. Fucking make me come. _ ”

Jason snarled above her, his voice wild and feral in the smoky stillness of the room. Something untamed roiled just under the surface of his skin, bubbling against his senses as his hips slammed into her own. She could feel him start to lose control of himself, and his pace quickened, creating even more friction between them. It was all too much at once, and her body finally trembled against the sheets as her stars exploded around her. 

Gasping and cursing, Raven shoved her face into the mattress and screamed so loud she was sure the lights flickered with the force of her powers. Everything felt bright and colorful, like she had been thrust into heaven, and before she had a chance to slip down back onto this plane of existence, Jason rolled her onto her back. His dark, dangerous eyes barely caught hers before he dropped his mouth to her still-orgasming core, and he flicked his tongue over her clit. He practically devoured the taste of her as if she were a treat, and before Raven could stop him or herself, she was arching off the bed again, another orgasm racing through her. 

Her thighs tightened around his shoulders and he lapped up her cum like it was some kind of delicacy for him. She could feel her brain turn to useless ooze, forgetting how to think as everything seemed far more intrigued with wallowing in pleasure, and her entire body sunk deep into the mattress. Her second orgasm mingled with her first and the sensation short-circuit her entire system, her muscles spasming and trembling again. Raven watched through heavy-lidded eyes as Jason grabbed his cock, his expression unreadable and shadowed. He gave a few quick strokes, his body jerking as he let a low, grumbling noise escape, and he finished himself off on her. Raven shivered again, feeling his cum slipped over her pale skin, coating her in his essence and practically marking her in his scent… and  _ she fucking liked it _ ? She really was a glutton for punishment. 

Jason gasped and fell onto the bed next to her, his own body still shaking from all the sensation they had just indulged in. He swallowed lungfuls of air, gasping as he shook from all the little aftershocks coursing through him. Grinning, he threw a hand over his head as he stared up at the ceiling, looking almost as if he’d won the lottery. His cheeks were flushed and sweat dripped into his eyes and Raven couldn’t help but realize (albeit with some great reluctance) that he was kind of…  _ cute _ . Even after all the depraved, deplorable things they did together, somehow he still managed to be cute, and not  _ just _ an asshole. 

Her heart skipped a few beats as he looked at her out of the corner of his eye, and Raven quickly turned and looked up at the ceiling, pretending not to notice. Her breath caught in her throat again and she swallowed, trying not to think about his fingertips brushing against her own. What in the world was  _ happening _ to her? 

It was just endorphins. 

It was just the fact that they were good in bed together.

It was just the afterglow of really,  _ really _ good sex. 

That’s all. 

Nothing more. 

A few long seconds passed in silence, and she finally managed to catch her breath enough to speak. She let her face return to its normal, blank mask, and looked over at him with a grimace. “Warn me next time you’re going to do…  _ that _ .” She felt him smirk next to her, but he said nothing. Raven just bit back a growl and she motioned to the bathroom door. “Go get something so I can clean myself off. I feel…”

_ What she felt, was complicated. _

“…gross.”

Jason stood up and stretched out his back, little drops of sweat slipping down the planes of his chest to tangle in the thin fringe of hair. He cocked his head to the side and stared at her with that little, teasing smirk. “I can draw us a bath if you want?”

Raven flushed at the inflection in his voice, and her lips tugged down into a frown. “ _ Us? _ ”

“Sure.” His voice was steady and lighthearted, but there was a soft tremor of uncertainty behind it. He shifted and pushed at his hair, glancing down at her again. “We can take a bath together.” 

_ A bath together?  _ That sounded perilously close to their boundaries, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to cross that line. He was supposed to be a fuck, nothing more. Just a really,  _ really _ good roll in the sack so she could get back to her own life. But now he was slowly creeping in on territory she didn’t want to visit. Raven was shifted a little, her eyes sweeping up and down his body, helpless but to enjoy the sight of his slowly-softening cock as it rested between his thighs. Why in the world did such a wonderful appendage have to be attached to…  _ him _ ? Of all the people in the world, it had to be  _ him _ . She lifted her stare back to his face and raised an annoyed eyebrow. 

“Why in the world would I take a bath with you?” Raven propped herself up on her elbows, and she could feel his cum slip down the planes and curves of her body. She stifled a shiver. It was starting to feel significantly less sexy now that their filthy pleasure was wearing off. “We’ve already had this discussion, Jason. I come to you for one thing and one thing only. One fuck, one night, once a week.  _ Nothing more _ .”

“Yeah, yeah. I hear you. Every time we see each other you constantly remind me of this fact, Raven. I’m not fighting you on that.” He rolled his eyes and rocked back on his heels, still staring at her curiously. “But, you’ve got nowhere else to be, and the night is still young, what’s the harm in enjoying my… what did you call it? My ‘well endowed cock’?” He chuckled and offered her that damned, annoying smile again. “You might as well get a few uses out of it before you leave for the week. After all, it’s the only reason you’re here.”

Her reaction seemed almost instantaneous, and Raven found herself unable to stop the words. “It’s not the  _ only _ reason I’m here.”

Jason stilled, and his eyes turned to look at her narrowing just a little. 

Raven could feel her heart jump into her throat and blood pounded through her ears. Why had she said that? Why had she said something like  _ that _ ? Those words indicated that there might have been more between them, but she knew better. This no-strings-attached sex was all she wanted out of him, anything more and she felt like she might actually murder him. He was, after all, the bane of her existence. 

“I’m here because it gets me away from the tower.” Raven licked her lips and leaned back on the pillows again. “It’s quieter here.”

Jason’s expression turned cold for a fleeting moment before his normal, snide expression slipped back into his eyes. He leaned forward just a little and lifted an eyebrow. “So stay awhile then. Use my ‘well endowed cock’ and hang out for a bit. Besides, you’ve never actually seen the tub, or the bathroom… come to think of it.” 

“What does  _ that _ have to do with anything?”

He shrugged and jerked his thumb to the bathroom door. “You know, it’s a heart-shaped jacuzzi tub. With powerful jets… so, _ you know _ … you can get yourself off and I can watch.” 

Her eyes widened and she stared at him, but he just continued to grin. He couldn’t  _ possibly _ be serious. Her eyes met his own stare and her nostrils flared as she tried to contain her surprise. He  _ was _ serious. It was one thing to watch her masturbate in the heat of sex, but to explicitly  _ ask _ for it so casually made her nearly forget how to breathe. Her blood rushed through her veins again and she took slow, careful breaths shivering just a little as she tried to calm herself. 

“You’re not serious are you?” Raven, felt her cheeks flush brightly, and she tried to focus on the tacky, nondescript picture on the wall behind him. Jason just cocked his hips to the side and stared at her until her eyes flicked to his own again. “You  _ are _ serious? What in the world for?”

“Why  _ not? _ ” He grinned. “Trust me when I say that watching you masturbate is better than porn.”

“And you just think I’m going to let you?”

“You did before.”

“That was different!”

“How so?”

“It just  _ was _ .”

Raven ground her teeth together and tried to keep her emotions at bay as everything roiled under the surface, scratching at her relentlessly. Unfortunately, he had very  _ valid _ points. Why would it matter if she took advantage of their time together? So what if she went from one fuck a week to a few? It was her decision, it didn’t mean that there was anything more between them. All it really meant was that she was desperate for the way he used and abused her in such wonderful ways. A few more times together wasn’t going to change anything. 

At least, that was what she kept telling herself. 

She looked down at her stomach and sighed. “ _ Fine _ .”

“Good. I’ll get the water started.” Jason smirked, happy that he’d finally won a battle, and walked toward the bathroom. “Do you want bubble bath and wine too?”

Raven’s blush returned full-force, and she glared at the picture on the wall again. What the hell was he thinking? This wasn’t some kind of weird, fucked-up Rom-Com. 

“You’re straying too far away from our boundaries, Jason.” Raven laid back on the bed and listened to the tub fill up with water, splashing against the sides of the tub. “Remember what we said? Fucking and fucking only. We don’t need to pretend that we like each other for this arrangement to work.”

The words tasted ugly in her mouth, like she'd swallowed chalk and it left her dry inside. She reminded herself time and time again that this was all their relationship was, but it was beginning to feel redundant and… wrong. Something ticked at the back of her mind, scratched as if it wanted to be let inside, but Raven just closed it off. It was better  _ not _ to think about these things anyway. 

“Oh, I’m still gonna fuck you, Raven.” His voice echoed in the bathroom, warbling slightly over the rush of water. 

Raven could hear the pop of a cork, and the snap of a lighter started. There must have been candles in there as well, and part of Raven wanted to complain. And then she really thought about taking a bath in a deep jacuzzi tub with water up to her neck, wine in one hand while Jason’s skillful fingers got her off. And then maybeshe would position her legs so that the hum and rush of the water jets rubbed right against her clit, buzzing and fizzing and giving her such a  _ wonderful _ sensation. She thought about that for a long minute before realizing that particular experience was far more important than trying to keep the boundaries up between them. 

Raven grabbed the edge of the sheet and wiped herself clean before standing up and making her way to the bathroom. A few, flickering candles were lined up against the walls and edges of the tub surround, reflecting off the glittering, tacky tiles and small mirrors that were starting to fog with the heat of the water. Steam curled from the bubbling water, curling around the space as she carefully poked one toe over the threshold. Jason was standing next to the tub, looking crossed his arms over his chest and grinned at her, leaning back on his heels as he watched her step into the surprisingly spacious bathroom. 

He raised a bottle of very expensive wine at her and smiled. “So, wine?”

Her lips twitched and she sighed in defeat. If she argued with him, she could very well miss out on this opportunity. Instead she held out her hand and shook her head. “Alright. I’ll have some wine.”

“Come on, Raven, don’t sound like I’ve sentenced you to death. It’s just a little wine and a little water play, nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, we’ve done far more kinky things together-”

This was  _ very _ true. 

“-and I promise you’re going to enjoy it.” He poured her wine in one of the hard plastic cups next to the sink and put it in her hand. His smile turned practically devilish, and he reached next to the tub, turning the dial on so that the hum of the jets seemed to fill the tiled space. “The bath is mostly full… you might as well take advantage of it before I join you.”

Raven licked her lips and took a drink of the wine before setting it on the edge of the tub. The whole thing felt surreal, a little strange and out of her comfort zone, but she found herself somehow enthralled with the newness of it all. She wanted her privacy, but there was also something exciting about knowing that he derived pleasure from her pleasure, regardless of how she reached it. A strange emotion slipped down her spine and she swallowed another gulp of air. 

“You’re not seriously going to watch, are you?”

“Like I said…” He poured himself a glass and grinned at her. “…better than porn.” His eyes met her and he jerked his head towards the bathtub. “Come on, Princess… into the tub.”

Raven shook her head and stepped into the bath slowly, carefully arranging herself before sinking down into the water. It was pleasantly warm and smelled faintly of citrus and vanilla, and the scent wrapped her up in something sensual and delicious. Jason smiled softly and he ran his hands over her shoulders, watching her with rapt attention. She looked up at him through heavy-lidded eyes as she positioned her legs carefully around one of the edges of the bathtub, spreading her thighs so that the rush of the jet pushed against her already sensitive clit. The water hummed and buzzed around her, little bubbles brushing up against her nerve endings to the point where it was slow, delicious torture. Raven’s eyes fluttered and she tilted her head back, resting it against the opposite wall of the tub. 

“Feel good?”

She nodded and let out a slow sigh. Her stare flicked to his face and she smiled softly, watching his own excitement start to gather in his eyes. He looked almost eager to please her, as if that was the only thing he wanted to do tonight. He didn’t  _ really _ want to fuck her anymore, he just wanted to play and tease and bring her to that fevered pitch again - but this time he wanted to go slow. It was as if he wanted to take all the time he could, so that he could stretch out her pleasure for as long as she would allow. 

The thought was surprisingly nice. 

Raven let go of a relaxed sigh and she focused on the feeling of the jets still rubbing against her clit, vibrating gently. “Play with my breasts.” It was a command, not a request. For some reason - one she  _ really _ couldn’t pin-point - she wanted to feel his hands on her. She wanted to feel his calloused, scarred fingers tracing her, teasing her, giving her everything she didn’t even realize she wanted. 

Jason just chuckled and slipped his hands into the water, cupping her breasts as he watched the rush of the water jet against her clit. He traced his fingertips over her skin, stroking her with something that was almost like tenderness. Raven let go of another, soft sigh and she leaned back even further, feeling strangely weightless. His thumbs rubbed over her nipples, flicking and twisting them slowly, as if bringing her pleasure was far more important than bringing her to orgasm. The journey was slow, careful, planned, and Raven had no idea how long she lay there in the tub, letting him tease her and letting the water rush sweetly against her. She closed her eyes and let the soft rush of need sink into her veins, one little bit at a time. 

Her lips opened and a gentle gasp escaped as she rose one hand out of the water, groping for Jason’s leg. Her fingers sunk into his thigh and she shivered. 

“Close?” His words rumbled low against the shell of her ear, rippling down her spine until it pooled in her stomach like liquid heat. His voice was sinful and dangerous, and she should have known better than to let him whisper to her, especially when her emotions we as raw as they were. 

She realized then how  _ desperately _ she wanted to kiss him. It was a silly thought to be thinking at a time like this… but… still… 

“Yeah,” Raven whispered, spreading her legs just a little further apart as she tried to ignore the  _ other _ feeling in her chest. Yes, there was the desire for orgasm, but there was also…  _ that _ . She didn’t know what  _ that _ was, and she wasn’t entirely sure if she liked it. “I’m… I’m close.”

“Let go whenever you’re ready, Little Bird.”

The nickname made her blush, but she ignored that too.

He rolled her nipples between his fingertips again and nibbled gently on her ear. “Take your time… enjoy the ride. We have all night, remember?”

Before Raven could remind him that his sultry pillow talk was practically ignoring their boundaries all together, her orgasm started to spark over her body. It was a slow, low burn that zipped along her bloodstream over and over again until her limbs were trembling and her body was shaking and she was letting out soft, little mewls that sounded almost pathetic. Her back arched, thrusting her breasts out of the water, bubbles still clinging to her skin, and she gasped again before sinking back into the water. 

Jason smiled and pulled his hands up her chest to her shoulders, pressing his thumbs into her muscles. “Better?”

Raven nodded, letting go of a soft sigh. 

Jason smiled and handed her the glass of wine. “Wanna go again?”

She nodded again, bringing the cup to her lips. 

“Want me to talk to you again?”

Again, she nodded. 

“Alright, Little Bird… let’s see that pretty, little ‘oh’ face one more time…”

As his hands slipped down her chest, teasing and playing with her breasts, Raven could feel his lips press one little, innocent kiss to the back of her neck. It was then, for the first time, that she had one, singular thought that seemed to consume her entire consciousness:

_ Please, Jason, just kiss me _ . 


	11. Chapter 11

Why was she here?

Why in the  _ world _ was she  _ here _ ?

Raven rubbed her forehead as if she was trying to ward off an oncoming headache, and she turned around to stare out into the parking lot. She had asked herself that exact question on several different occasions, and it was becoming more and more frequent in the last few weeks, especially after what had happened in that bathtub (she was still blushing about it). But today she was really beginning to question her decision to continue this arrangement with Jason. It was one thing to come to him because she wanted nothing more than a quick, heated fuck that left her breathless and satisfied, but it was a completely different thing to come to him wanting…

… _ what _ , exactly? 

Taking a deep, careful breath, she looked down at her arm, which was snug against her body, resting in a sling. She was careful not to put too much weight on her left side, because her ankle and knee would need a few more days before they were back to normal. A twinge of pain rushed up her leg and she turned back around to look at the door. She was for all intents and purposes, out of commission, and not even able to fight with her team let alone roll around in the sheets for a few hours. At least not with the way her injuries were bothering her. 

And yet all of this brought her back to her original question… why was she here? 

Raven closed her eyes and took another slow, shaky breath, knowing the answer to that question, but not wanting to admit it. Admitting it made it too real, too tangible, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to face that truth yet. It still felt too soon for her - too much to say in the silence of her mind let alone say it out loud. She rubbed her forehead with her good hand and tried to think of any real reason she might be here waiting outside the motel room door, but every thought just led her back to the same answer. 

She was here because maybe…  _ just maybe _ … it was something more. 

“You can come inside, Princess. I don’t bite… unless you ask me to.”

His smile practically  _ sparkled _ through his voice, and Raven found herself swallowing any lingering reservations she might have. His smile was…  _ infectious _ . Taking a shaky breath, she opened the door and took a slow, careful step inside. Jason was sprawled out on the bed in his underwear, half watching TV and half playing a game on his phone. He glanced up at the door, and his face fell immediately, skin paling as she closed the door behind her. Raven tried to look at him with as much dignity as she could muster, and very slowly pulled her cloak from her shoulders. She set it on the back of one of the chairs before moving to stand next to him on the bed. 

“I-”

“ _ What in the world happened!? _ ” 

Jason jumped up from the bed quicker than she thought possible, and before Raven could fully process what was happening, he was already inspecting her with a keen eye. His attention was focused solely on  _ her _ and what had happened, and in spite of Raven’s protests that she was fine, he still hovered close to her. He looked carefully at her wrist, her swollen ankle, and the various cuts and bruises that marred her skin. His touch was surprisingly gentle, as if he were inspecting something fragile and delicate, and it made Raven’s heart skip a few beats. She was the kind of woman who could easily take care of herself, but there was still something nice about being fussed over for just a few moments. She shifted her weight a little, pretending to stare at the ugly piece of art on the wall again, and waited patiently until Jason managed to pull himself together. 

His cheeks flushed a little out of embarrassment that he had been so close to her in a way that felt strangely…  _ intimate _ . Raven tried not to laugh at that thought - she could be completely naked and bent over his lap begging him to spank her, but the world imploded the moment he tried to care for a wound. She was utterly  _ hopeless _ \- completely and utterly  _ gone _ . What in the world was she  _ doing _ . 

Jason pretended to ignore his embarrassment and he brushed hair from her forehead, looking down into her eyes. “Raven, what the hell happened to you?”

“We… had a battle that did not go  _ exactly _ as planned.” Raven pushed off his hands and stared up at him, trying to keep her expression as blank as possible, although it felt as if the sound of her heart was pounding through the room. Could he hear it practically reverberating against the walls of the hotel room? She shuffled again and sat down on the edge of the bed, taking a moment to slip off her shoes and set them neatly by the nightstand. “We won, which I suppose is important, but… I came out a little worse for wear.”

“I see that.”

Her eyes flicked back up to his own and she could feel heat rush to her cheeks again. Pressing her lips into a thin line, she fidgeted with a buckle on her sling, trying to decide if she wanted to take it off or not. If she wanted to keep this as professional and no-nonsense as possible, she should probably stick to her usual demeanor. After all, the only thing she was here for was just one really good roll in the sheets, right? 

Her fingers moved to the strap on her sling, but Jason’s hand moved to lay over her own. There was a strange sort of heat that sparked between their touch, like warmth was spreading between their skin and there was nothing they could do to stop it. Jason sat next to her on the bed and pulled her hand from trying to unfasten the sling, letting both of their hands rest between them. His toes curled and uncurled in the carpet, fidgeting as much as he could to keep himself from  _ really _ looking at her. Raven didn’t mind, because it meant that she didn’t have to focus on him either. But now there was a strange, thick silence that settled over the room like dust neither one of them could see, and so they were both left staring hopelessly at nothingness. 

Jason licked his lips, and opened his mouth to talk, but nothing came out. After a few long seconds, he turned away and reached for the television remote, turning it off. It was as if they were both dancing around the question and neither one of them really  _ wanted _ to ask it. Raven shifted again and she cleared her throat, glancing at him from the corner of her eye. 

“You’re going to have to be gentle with me tonight.” For some strange reason that she couldn’t quite place, Raven turned the hand that was resting under his own, so that her palm pressed up into his. She swallowed the strange bubble of emotions in her throat and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. It felt as if the heat between them had nearly exploded into a conflagration, threatening to consume them whole. His fingers slipped between her own and he chewed on his lower lip, obviously lost in thought. 

“Is the only reason you came tonight because you wanted to fuck me, Raven?”

His words were barely above a whisper, and they slipped down her spine in a way that she couldn’t quite articulate. It was as if they wormed deep under her skin and she was left trying to pick them out of what was really real and what was her imagination. Was his breath  _ really _ that soft? Were his words actually trembling? Or were these all things that she had imagined? Her eyes closed for a moment and she slipped her hand out from his own, feeling oddly bereft and the lack of contact. 

“I don’t know.” It was the first time she’d been honest in their agreement, and it felt strangely liberating. Taking another, slow breath, her eyes flicked back up to his own. “I really don’t.”

“You could have told me what happened.”

“I know.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I know.”

“And you’re still here.”

“It’s our scheduled day and time… if I didn’t come…”

He licked his lips again, his breath seemingly caught in his chest. Raven could feel the tension weaving between them, his body tight and bursting at the seams. He was waiting for her to finish, desperately hoping that she might have the answer he wanted to hear. Jason’s hands tightened in the comforter, as if he was trying to hold onto something if only to keep him grounded. He was perched on the edge, waiting to tumble at the slightest sound of her words. 

“... I don’t know,” Raven finished lamely. “It seems silly for me to  _ not _ come.”

“Mm.” 

And that was it. That was all he said in response to her pathetic explanation. The tension seemed to be broken and Jason stood up, turning around to grin at her with his trademark, cocky smile plastered across his lips. It looked a little bit fake, like he was just trying to keep up appearances because that’s what he needed to do. He needed to keep his distance, just like Raven needed to keep her own, because it was what they both expected of themselves. 

“Alright, Little Bird, I have a proposal then.” 

She lifted an eyebrow and looked up at him, saying nothing. 

“I say you and I hang out.”

Raven snorted, fighting back a peal of laughter until she realized he was completely serious. Snapping her mouth shut, she placed her good hand in her lap and cocked her head to the side, staring at him. “You’re not joking. You really want to… hang out?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. Why not?”

“Because we’ve never hung out before in the entire time we’ve known each other.”

“We can now.” He tapped his fingers along his thigh and cocked his head to the side, his eyes watching her intensely. “Look, I’m not calling this a date or anything, I’m just saying… maybe get some pizza delivered and watch some shity sci-fi movie on TV. It’s nothing at all like a date or anything outside of our boundaries, Raven. It’ll be just you, me, pizza, and some washed-up celebrity’s last drag on the teat of fame.”

Raven felt her lips quirk to the side as she fought off another small chuckle. 

“And… after all that… if you and I are still up for a round in the sheets, then I promise to do  _ whatever _ you want.” He paused and shrugged for a moment. “Within reason. I can’t send you back to the team in worse shape than I found you.” 

Raven chewed on her lower lip, weighing his suggestion carefully. It wasn’t completely outside of their carefully built boundaries just yet. There was still the promise of no-strings-attached sex if they wanted it, and they didn’t have to like each other to watch a movie and eat pizza. There was just another outlet for them, and if they were careful about it it would just stay another, easy encounter. She could keep her distance if she really wanted too. 

But… did she want to? Did she  _ really _ want to keep that distance?

Raven tried not to dwell too long on that thought. Swallowing the reservation in her throat, she offered him a one-shouldered shrug and nodded. “I like veggies, but not black olives.”

His face practically lit up and Raven thought her heart was going to explode. If she imagined it was loud before, it was  _ nothing _ compared to the jackhammer slamming into her ribs right now. She could feel her cheeks burn bright as she looked up into those too-green eyes, his lock of silver hair falling into his too-long lashes. He reached for his phone, nodding in agreement, and Raven realized with a pathetic, useless feeling in her chest, that she was completely and utterly  _ gone _ . 


	12. Chapter 12

“I think that if her shirt gets torn anymore, they're gonna have to up the rating to NC-17. I'm pretty sure I've seen her nipple at least three times.” 

“Nipples don’t make NC ratings. Didn’t you see that documentary on the rating system in America?”

Raven turned and looked at him, her eyes widening just a little as she looked at him. There was a moment of stretched almost tense silence before she broke out into one of her subdued chuckles, her eyes brightening as she continued to look at him. Something practically  _ glittered _ inside her and Jason could do nothing but sit there and stare at her. How in the world had he never noticed how  _ bright _ she was against his darkness? 

Taking a few gulps of air, she managed to calm herself down enough to talk. “Jason… that’s such a  _ nerdy _ thing to say.” 

“Well, it’s true.” He smiled and reached for another piece of pizza. “I watched the whole thing.”

“You are the world’s biggest nerd.” Raven shook her head and turned back to the catastrophically bad movie on TV. “I’m going to have to get you your own coffee mug that claims so.” 

He laughed between bites of his pizza and he leaned back against the pillows on the bed, practically relishing in the little butterflies and shocks of excitement that zapped along his skin. He couldn’t help but feel …  _ safe _ almost. Raven was easy to be around, practically  _ fun _ , and there was a strange sort of relationship that developed between him that he desperately wanted to explore. So many of their nights had been about all the wonderful ways they could destroy each other, but tonight was about something different. As the night wore on, he found it harder and harder to keep up the facade between them. He didn’t feel like he could keep pretending that each encounter meant nothing, not when he knew that each second spent with her seemed to light his soul on fire. 

“Okay, so then if a nipple doesn’t garner an NC-17 rating, what does?”

Jason shrugged, trying (and failing) to keep himself focused on the movie. “According to the documentary? Pretty much when a woman overtly enjoys sex, or really any detailed show of cock. Like horrible violence and blowing shit up is okay, but heaven forbid a woman enjoy pleasure, or maybe one vague scene of oral sex.”

Raven gave a lopsided smile and pushed her hair out of her eyes. “You really paid attention, didn’t you?” 

“In my defense, it was a good documentary.” He smiled and reached for the water next to the bed, taking a few gulps to keep his mind focused on anything  _ other _ than oral sex. Because right now he had the sudden desire to dive under the covers and eat her out until the sun rose in the morning.  _ God _ , he wanted to taste her again. Clearing his throat, he shrugged and set his paper plate to the side. “It  _ was _ a good movie, you know. I learned a lot.”

Raven stared blankly, letting the silence stretched between them slowly. A few seconds skipped by before she whispered, “You’re such a  _ nerd _ .”

“Oh come on!” Jason tried to pretend to be hurt by her words, but there was something in her lighthearted tone that made him feel like he was about to float away. Chuckles escaped and he leaned closer to her. “ _ I’m _ a nerd? That’s rich coming from the girl whose idea of a good time is sitting around and reading books all day! Don’t call the pot black, kettle!” Jason reached out and poked her between the ribs, hearing her little squeal of shock as she tried to twist away from him.

“Yeah? Well at least I don’t talk about documentaries I’ve seen.” Raven reached out for the pillow between them, grabbing it with her good hand and launching it across his face. 

Jason just sat there, staring at her as she pulled back her arm and readying herself for another blow. Without really questioning what was going on between them, or even taking a moment to think about how  _ ridiculous _ the situation was, he pushed himself forward and pounced on her small form. Raven let go of another sound that was not quite a giggle or a laugh, and she threw out her arm to try and stop him, but it was too late. Jason had yanked the pillow from her hand and leaned over her prone form, grinning into her face.

“I am  _ not _ a nerd.”

“You are  _ too  _ a nerd, and you know it,  _ Mister Todd. _ ” 

“Come on, kettle. I wouldn’t get too crazy with those insults.” He looked down into her eyes, feeling his skin start to practically  _ glow _ . Being with her was so  _ easy _ that it worried him. Raven should have been difficult and closed off and carefully checking her boundaries, but she was here… smacking him in the face with a pillow and calling him names. It felt too carefree, and Jason thought that if he didn’t take this moment and treasure it, everything he experienced tonight would be gone forever. 

She was chewing on her lower lip, eyes looking from his lips to his eyes and back again. His hand tightened in the pillow next to her head, fingers biting into the soft filling as he seemed trapped in her stare. Raven’s lips were trembling and the soft, joking atmosphere completely dissolved. In its place was something strange and unusual, and he couldn’t quite describe what it was. It was thick and new and he didn’t understand how quickly their emotions could change. 

Jason's heart pounded and it felt like his head was spinning, and he was unable to really process everything his was doing. He licked his lips and slid his other hand up her outer thigh, over the curve of her hip, trailing his fingers up her rib cage. Her heart was fluttering, thumping wildly against her chest as she tried to take in as much air as she could. He watched Raven swallow, tilting her head up so that her nose brushed against his own. He could feel her breath ghosting over his own lips, slipping against his nerves until it felt as though his skin was electrified and every touch was going to send him into convulsions. 

Raven’s lips parted and she took another, slow breath. 

“It's… it's getting late.”

“Yeah.” It was, Jason couldn’t deny that, no matter how much he wanted to. “Should we…”

“Not yet.” Raven tentatively raised her hand to his cheek, rubbing her thumb along his skin. She swallowed again, and offered him another, strange smile. “We still have  _ Cataclysmic Catastrophe _ to watch.”

Was she  _ serious _ ?

That brightness finally consumed him, and Jason couldn’t stop the laughter if he tried. His head dropped to her shoulder, feeling his chuckles vibrate through him and into her, and feeling her smile light the dark room. Helpless against the surge of emotions that rushed through him, he twisted his head and peppered little, innocent kisses along the line of her jaw before falling back into his spot on the bed. 

“Alright, Little Bird. Just one more, and then we should really get you back to your nest.”

“Agreed.”

She shifted in the covers and leaned a bit closer to him, her warmth spreading through his side. It felt so perfectly intimate and soft, and Jason found himself at her mercy. No matter what he did, he knew that she had a little bit of his soul and he was never going to get it back. His hand reached out to find her own, threading his fingers with hers. For a few, brief moments, everything felt…  _ normal _ . Perfectly and wonderfully normal. 

His chest tightened and he smiled over at her. “See, Raven… we're not bad at hanging out.”

He waited patiently for a response, but when he was met with silence, he looked back down at her. Raven's head rested against his shoulder, eyes closed as her breathing eased slowly. His heart jumped to life again, and Jason pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head, trying to commit the scent of her shampoo to memory. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever have this opportunity again, but he knew he didn’t want to waste it. Jason smiled and rested his head against hers, letting the TV play the next movie. 

“Sweet dreams, little bird.”

She sighed softly.


	13. Chapter 13

Jason bounced his leg against the mattress as stared at the ceiling of the hotel room, counting off seconds in his head as he waited for Raven to show. He was impatient, his head and chest filling with the images of their last meeting - that almost-kiss that still burned on his lips. It was the only thing he could think about for the last few days, and the scent of her seemed permanently burned into his soul. He closed his eyes and remembered the darkness in her eyes, as if there was a silent question she couldn’t quite articulate.

He should have kissed her. 

He should have just  _ fucking kissed her _ .

He tossed the covers onto the floor and ground his teeth together, focusing on the seconds still creeping through his head. She was going to show, she just had to be running a little late. But time continued to slip by, uncaring of Jason’s impatience, and it was right around second three thousand two hundred and six that he realized Raven might have actually stood him up. It wasn’t the first time she had stood him up, but it was the first time that it seriously irritated him. Before it didn’t matter, but now… well, it felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. He ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes, letting go of an annoyed sigh.

His body felt on edge, as if every cell inside him was bursting with energy that he didn’t have a name for, and his mind kept flicking back to the last time they saw each other. The  _ almost kiss _ that burned like a brand against his lips. The laughter and teasing as she called him a ‘nerd’. The way she so easily fit into his arms as she drifted off to sleep. Every single image was practically filling him with  _ her _ . His hands tightened in the sheets and he rolled onto his stomach, screwing his eyes shut as he tried to think about  _ anything else _ . 

But he couldn’t. All he could think about was  _ her _ , and all the moments they had shared together. True, some of their private moments would likely earn him a one-way ticket to hell, but then there were soft moments too. Things that were infinitely more special. Like last week when they had chosen to forgo their normal, brutal fucking for bad movies and pizza. And the week before that, when she had laid back so easily in the jaccuzi bathtub, her face in pure ecstasy as she pleasured herself over and over for his own amusement. Her lips had trembled, her back arched, and soft, little mewls escaped her throat. He had never seen her like that - so slowly brought to pleasure that it was as if the journey was far more important than the end result. 

It was beautiful to see her in such a raw and emotional state, and if Jason wasn’t already falling before, he certainly was now.

And then there was that stupid, damnable almost-kiss, still lingering like a bad nightmare in his mind. 

“ _ Fuck _ .” 

Jason sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. His hands were suddenly shaking and it felt like he couldn’t get enough air. He rose to his feet and reached for his suit, still haphazardly thrown in a corner of the room. He couldn’t just sit here and wait for her to show, he had to  _ do something _ . Anything, really. It wasn’t going to do him any good to sit around here and bemoan Raven not coming to him. If she wanted to stand him up again, he would let her have her space, he would-

His thoughts screeched to a halt as the door slammed open, rain and storm water rushing in as Raven stood in the doorway. There was a rumble of thunder and the thudding noise of sheets of rain pounding onto the walkway outside. Her hair was drenched, and her body shook and trembled, sitting somewhere between confused and distraught. Lightning flashed behind her like something out of a bad movie, and she sagged against the frame, her eyes not quite meeting his. 

Jason stilled, only one leg of his neoprene suit pulled on while the rest of it was hanging off his body. He swallowed, unable to move any further. Something in her demeanor told him that she was starting to fray at the edges and break apart, and he wanted to try and comfort her as best as he could. 

But… he wasn’t entirely certain  _ how _ . 

“Raven?”

She stumbled forward, dropping her cloak onto the floor. Her eyes were dark, wet hair clinging to the curve of her jaw, lips trembling, and she wrapped her arms tightly around herself. Her stare moved down to the floor before looking back up at him. Jason stood perfectly still, his suit slipping down the length of his leg, and he watched as she slammed the door.

“Now.” 

Her voice was rough and her words scratched against the silence of the room like claws, ripping open wounds that they both knew were still too tender to be touched. 

“Now, Jason.” 

She was already shedding her wet clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor, ignoring her normal protocol of folding everything neatly and keeping that transactional purpose between them. Instead she was breaking apart from the inside, her world disintegrating around her until she was raw exposed. Raven took a few, unsteady steps closer to him, her eyes wide and pleading. She was desperate for something, and the feeling was eating away at her last dregs of sanity. 

“Take me now.”

It wasn’t until she was standing in her wet panties and bra, fiddling with the clasp, that Jason finally found the strength inside him to react. He dropped his clothes on the floor and stepped forward, wrapping his arms rightly around her and stilling her movements. She pressed her forehead to his collarbone and made a soft noise of defeat. And that one sound practically  _ broke _ him. His heart twisted painfully and he let go of all of his careful barriers, offering Raven one glimpse of the real person he was inside. 

Pulling her shivering body tightly against his own, Jason tucked her head under his chin and began whispering to her. He couldn’t remember what he said, or what he tried to say to her, but it all felt trite and ingenuine, like nothing he would have said if he knew how to properly comfort her . Truthfully, he had no idea what was going on, but he knew that he wanted to protect her and keep her from harm. There was something that felt almost…  _ primeval _ inside him, as if it was his  _ duty _ to keep her safe. 

“It’s been…” Raven’s words were raw, and it was as if they were ripping against her soul, pulling and tugging at the last bits of her. “I can’t… I need…”

She needed?

Needed…  _ what? _

Jason curled his hand under her chin and looked into her eyes, tilting her face up just a little. Raven’s eyebrows knitted together, but she didn’t fight him. No, she leaned closer, her breath catching in her throat. Jason ran his thumb over her lower lip, shivering even though he knew he wasn’t cold. He knew  _ exactly _ what he needed to do. He had missed the opportunity once, and he refused to let that chance slip through his fingers again. 

He was  _ going _ to kiss her. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind he realized this was going to be their first, real kiss. Even after all the gloriously disgusting things they had done together, even though they had fucked each other senseless over and over, not once had they shared a single kiss. Not once had either of them let their guard down enough to even  _ try _ . But not any longer. They were going to kiss. 

Raven closed her eyes.

Jason leaned in.

Their lips touched softly, nearly ghosted against one another.

And Jason knew that if he was falling before, he was completely and utterly  _ gone _ now.

Without questioning himself, his arms pulled her tight against him and practically  _ drowned _ in her. His mouth sought hers relentlessly, kiss after kiss until they were both gasping for breath and her lips were red and plump with his attention. He nudged her mouth open and dipped his tongue inside, tasting rainwater and tea mingling together. It was too much and not enough at the same time, and Jason felt like his entire world was going to implode. He knew how desperately he wanted to kiss her, but he hadn’t realized the magnitude of that need, or how much it would consume him. 

Gasping for breath, he pulled away and looked into her eyes. Her stare was wild, bright, but also confused. She was wrapped up in these emotions that she couldn’t fully process, and left hanging in a space she wasn’t sure she wanted to be. Her teeth came out to chew on her lower lip and she took another, slow breath, as if unspoken words were dancing on her tongue. Jason bit back the last bit of reservation still clinging to him, and his arms wrapped tighter around her. They teetered for a moment before falling onto the bed, mattress springs squeaking loudly as they both reached for each other’s kiss.

Raven pulled away, looking up at him with shadows in her eyes. She reached up into his hair and pulled him close, resting his forehead against his own. “Take me,” she repeated softly. “Please, Jason…”

He closed his eyes and nodded. That’s what they were here for after all.

_ I come to you for fucking and fucking only, Jason.  _

_ You’re just a warm body attached to a well-endowed cock. _

They didn’t like each other. They were only in it for the sex. Only it it to get their rocks off a few times. That was their agreement. But Jason had already broken nearly all of their rules and forgotten pretty much everything that he agreed to. So, what did it matter if he fucked up just one more thing?

_ Sorry, Raven… I shouldn’t have fallen in love. _


	14. Chapter 14

Jason pulled back from their kiss-

_ Sweet Azar, they kissed! _

-and looked down into her eyes. She could feel his heart thrumming into her chest, rumbling and vibrating as he pushed against her, his hands on either side of her shoulders. He was swallowing air as if it was the only thing that kept him chained to earth, and his hands tightened in the comforter with every breath. 

Everything around them felt painfully tight, like a rubber band that had been stretched too far for too long, and eventually it was going to snap. Raven wanted to say something -  _ anything _ \- that might have filled the silence, but her mind couldn’t quite pin down one thing that she could say. It was racing wildly, flitting from one memory to the next until it seemed as if her whole body was filled with thoughts of  _ Jason _ . His sarcastic comments. His smile. The little pieces of himself that broke through the facade he created. The excited, almost boyish way he looked after sex. His touch. His laugh. His  _ kiss _ . Everything that she thought was bothering her seemed to melt away and here, in this moment, she realized something that she should have seen coming from a mile away. 

_ I think I love you _ . 

Raven tried to hold onto that thought so she could try to explore it, but the realization of it bubbling to the forefront of her mind at a time like this made her nearly lose her sanity. Her heart slammed against her own ribs, practically matching Jason’s in its ferocity, and she stared up into his eyes. They were like little flecks of malachite staring down at her, practically glowing in the thin light that slipped through the space between the curtains. 

He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, as if the words were going to tumble free and suddenly they would both be left exposed and raw. Unsure if she wanted to face those words, Raven reached up and buried her hands in his hair, pulling his closer to her. Their lips brushed against one another, sensitive and swollen from the kiss that had stolen her breath. Her eyes met his own, fingers tightening in his dark hair and she whispered something she never thought she would say in her life. 

“ _ Make love to me. _ ”

His eyes widened, and Raven could feel his heart skip a beat. It stuttered against her chest, and he searched desperately for something to say to her, but nothing seemed to escape. Jason just swallowed and rested his forehead against her own, his nose brushing against hers. Without even uttering a single syllable, he pressed his lips to her own and kissed her again. Raven let herself drown in his kisses, barely registering when his fingers hooked into her panties and he pulled them down her thighs. 

Every touch seemed to spark over her skin like it never had before. His fingertips were practically electric, sending little shocks through her nerves and straight into the pit of her stomach. Jason kissed down her throat, his tongue feathering over her pulse as his fingers drew patterns over her arms and shoulders. Raven closed her eyes and she let herself  _ feel _ . She wasn’t sure if it really  _ was _ different now, or if her perception had simply changed everything, but it seemed as if her body was made of light and she was worshiping every part that he could. 

His lips curled around and nipple and his fingers dipped between her thighs, tracing the length of her with careful touches. Everything was planned and patient, it wasn’t about how amazing their sex could be, but about how the journey felt. Raven gasped and her back arched as she bit back a soft curse. Jason just smiled and he slipped two fingers inside her, pumping slowly as his thumb brushed up against her clit. She twitched and her eyes fluttered as he scraped his teeth along her nipple, drawing it into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it before releasing it. Seconds would pass and he started the whole process again, taking his time with her body. 

Raven whimpered, and her head tossed on the pillow as he toes curled. She had never known him to go so…  _ slow _ . He’d been slower with her before but not like  _ this _ , not when he was practically drawing out minutes into hours and using time as another tool in his arsenal. Raven had never had to wait for him to give her what she desperately wanted and he was using that to his advantage. He flicked his tongue over her nipple again, and his fingers curled against  _ that spot _ , making Raven see white fill her vision. 

“ _ J-jason, please _ .” 

His hands stilled and he looked up at her, his eyes wide. Raven flushed, suddenly realizing how desperate she had sounded, and how his name fell so easily from her mouth. Her teeth came out and chewed on her lower lip as he continued to stare, not moving, not saying anything, just  _ staring.  _

Lightning flashed outside, filling the room with bright, white light for just a moment. 

“Say it again.” 

She swallowed.

“My name,” he whispered, resting his head against her sternum. He almost sounded like he was pleading with her, begging for this one request. Pressing kisses over her heart, he glanced back into her eyes. “Say my name again, Raven.”

Raven lifted her hands to his hair again, curling her hands through his dark locks. “ _ Jason _ .”

He began kissing down her stomach, his tongue dipping into her belly button. Raven’s skin started to burn again, and her legs widened to accommodate his shoulders, watching with bated breath as he continued to kiss down her body. There was a fire inside him that she had never really felt before, and it warmed her and gave her life that she didn’t know she could feel. Everything felt infinitely different now. Not bad, just…  _ different _ . Raven gasped again, his mouth finding the inside of her thigh and licking. His tongue was tracing little patterns to her hips, teeth scraping softly against skin as he moved closer and closer to her dripping, needy core.

“Again.” 

She gasped as his teeth nipped at her thigh. 

“Say it again.”

“ _ Jason _ .”

His tongue traced the length of her core, and Raven’s heart stopped in her chest. 

“Again.”

“ _ Jason. _ ”

“Again.”

“ _ Jason. _ ”

Raven gasped as he spread her wide and stabbed his tongue deep. Screaming at the top of her lungs, her back arched and she let go of a sound that wasn’t entirely  _ human _ . Her hands tightened in his hair and her eyes screwed shut as she focused on the feeling of his skilful, sinful mouth licking and biting and sucking and bringing her the kind of pleasure that she had only read about in bad romance novels. She pressed her hips up into his mouth and his name became a mantra - the only thing she really knew how to say in this moment. 

“ _ Jason. Jason. Jason. Jasonjasonjasonjasonjason… _ ”

He attacked her body with fervor, fucking her with his tongue before curling his lips around her clit. She shivered and gasped, pulling at his hair as she lost control of her senses. The world around her was imploding, disintegrating with every moment until it was just him and her and this seedy motel room where their sins were suddenly something else. Raven threw her head back and she screamed again, her muscles convulsing as her orgasm rushed through her. The storm raged on outside, reflecting the turmoil inside her as Jason continued to tease her, drawing out her pleasure for as long as he could. His mouth never relented, and Raven felt as though hours passed before she began to drift down to earth.

“ _ Jason _ .”

He smiled, resting his cheek against her thigh as he watched her through a heavy-lidded stare. “ _ Again _ .”

Raven’s cheeks flushed, and before she could stop him, his mouth was already taking her to the heavens again. 

-

It was getting late. 

The clock next to the bed blinked 12:00, but Raven could tell by the exhaustion seeping into her bones that it was getting far past the time she had promised herself to go home. Dawn was very likely just around the corner, and it would be a few hours before her friends would stir to life, looking for her and begging for her presence and demanding her attention. And yet… she didn’t want to go home yet. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to go home at all. 

Instead, she laid against the lumpy pillows on the hotel bed, her hands clutching the sheets as Jason’s mouth continued its relentless assault on her senses, his tongue fucking her and curling around her clit and giving her everything she could possibly need  _ again _ . Raven swallowed a few lungfuls of air, and her eyes slid close as she buried one hand in his hair, mouth falling open as she tried to hold out for just a little bit longer. 

Jason’s lips wrapped around her clit and he drew it into his mouth, sucking on it as he flicked his tongue over her. Raven’s body convulsed and her back arched as she pushed his mouth harder against her. She was so deliciously close to that edge, and he’d already brought her to orgasm several times that night, but she wanted to come again. She wanted to know that it was him eating her out like she was a treat, and know that if she asked him he would do it again, no questions asked. She wanted to hold onto this feeling forever. 

Raven took a deep breath and let it out slowly, opening her eyes to see him staring up at her, waiting until-

_ “Jason!” _

She threw her head back and screamed, shivers raking down her spine as he threw her over the edge again, letting her float weightlessly on pleasure. Raven’s hips bucked and her stomach tightened with each delicious spasm racing through her body, her muscles giving out again. It felt like she was flying through the heavens before being coaxed back down to earth very,  _ very _ slowly. Gasping for breath, Raven tilted her head down and watched as Jason licked his lips, resting his cheek on her inner thigh.

“Again?”

This time it was a question, not a demand, and Raven flushed. 

“No.” She shook her head and leaned back against the pillows again. “G-give me a moment to breathe…”

“I can.” He kissed down her thighs, paying special attention to the little marks of pleasure he had left for against her skin. Offering her a proud, almost boastful smile, he nipped playfully at the inside of her knees before sitting back on his heels, watching her. His fingers trailed over her ankles, drawing invisible patterns against her skin. 

Raven flushed, and she somehow resisted the urge to bury her face into her pillow. What in the world was he doing? And to _her_? Raven was not a woman who was easily swooned, and yet somehow he was doing _just that_. Every movement felt almost affectionate, as if he wasn’t just doing it for the physical sensation, but more of an emotional one. Jason Todd, Red X, was making _her_ swoon. That thought made Raven’s head a bit fuzzy, and she watched as he reached over her to the nightstand and grabbed a bottle of water, taking a long drink before looking back at her. 

The silence was heavy, weighing down on both of them as they both fought with their emotions. It was different this time and they both knew it. This was the first time it hadn’t been all about the physical aspect of their meetings, and they weren’t clamboring for orgasm simply because it made them both feel better. This time, there was something strange just roiling underneath the surface, something that whispered to both of them in different ways. 

Raven chewed at her lower lip and she turned away from him, rolling on her side as she waited for the inevitable question that hung in the air between them.

“Wanna order take out?”

That… that was not the question she was anticipating.

She looked over her shoulder at him, watching as he flicked through a few take-out menus that were left in the nightstand drawer. He looked relaxed, almost at ease with what was growing in the silence, and Raven wasn’t sure how she should respond to him. That wasn’t what she was expecting at all. She was expecting him to ask her about what was going on and why she was acting strange. Or why she was so close to tears when she came here, or why she chose to come here in the first place. Or why she started screaming his name like every cell in her being demanded it of her. She wasn’t expecting him to ask about food. 

Raven sat up and cautiously took the menu offered to her, as if it were a snake that was getting ready to bite. “Take out?”

“Sure.” He sat down on the edge of the bed at watched her, his expression unreadable. A few long seconds slipped by in heavy, unadulterated silence before he spoke again. “Look, Raven… I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you need to tell me everything going on with you. But I’m not going to sit here and pretend that there isn’t something bothering you either. I can tell that you’re upset, and it’s not my place to push it…”

Raven swallowed and watched as he reached for his cell phone.

“…but if you want to talk, I’m here.”

“One night of hanging out doesn’t make you my friend.” 

Couldn’t she keep her mouth shut for  _ once _ , and not be a defensive idiot? He was trying to help her, trying to be nice to her, and Raven had just come to terms with the fact that maybe she felt something more for him than just a physical attraction. Her face flushed as she watched hurt flash across his face, and Raven shook her head trying to calm her pounding heart. She reached out for him, resting her hand on his arm. “I… I didn’t mean it like that, Jason. I just… you’ve never really tried to connect with me before.”

“Because you wouldn’t let me.” His smile looked a little broken, and he moved his arm so that her hand slid easily into his own. “Your rules, remember?”

Raven’s face darkened and she looked at his hand and hers tangled together. “I thought I was just a fu-”

“Chicken fried rice sound good?” He cut her off, suddenly choosing to page through the menu as his lips twitched in annoyance. “It sounds good to me. How about that and some hot and sour soup? Nothing fancy.”

Raven blinked, a little taken aback by how easily he cut her off. It was almost as if he didn’t want her to say the words that were building up inside her. Like it was a kind of curse that he wanted to avoid. She blinked and stared at their hands again, not sure of what to say or even how to interpret his expression. Raven simply nodded.

“That sounds fine.”

Jason smiled and he closed the menu, looking at her for a long moment again. “You don’t think this is crossing our boundaries, do you, Raven?”

She shook her head, lifting her eyes to his impossibly green stare. “I don’t think dinner is going to be a problem.”

He took leaned closer to her, his nose brushing her own as if he was going to kiss her again.

“Besides,” she whispered, eyes fluttering close. “I think maybe it’s time we redraw our boundaries anyway.”


	15. Chapter 15

The thin, pale orange sunlight of early dawn spilled through the small crack in the curtains, casting weird shapes of light over the dingy blue carpet. Jason was lying on his side, watching Raven get dressed with the deepest feeling of regret sinking into his stomach. He had always felt a little remorseful when she left after their encounters, but tonight was different. Tonight didn’t feel like anything they had ever done before, and Jason was left grappling with emotions and words he wanted to shove into the silence between them, but he couldn’t find the strength to say them. So he just lay on the bed and watch her get dressed for the day. 

Jason shifted under the covers and watched her pull on her coat, his eyes following her movements as if he was trying to etch them into his memory. He took a long, deep breath and stretched out his hand, tangling his fingers with her own. Raven stilled and she looked back at him, her cheeks flushing a bright shade of pink. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and pull her back into the bed, and forget for one second that there was a world outside the door. He licked his lips and looked up into her eyes. 

“Stay a little bit longer.” He knew he was pleading with her, but if it kept her close he didn’t care. He wanted to keep her next to him for as long as he could, and if that meant putting his pride on the line, so be it. His hand tightened around her own and he tugged her back down to the mattress, pulling her close. “You can stay a few more hours.”

“It’s almost dawn, Jason. I’ve never stayed this long before.” She pushed a lock of hair out of his eyes and the touch was surprisingly tender. “My friends are going to start worrying about me sneaking around at all hours of the night and not coming back until the morning. What am I going to say if they start questioning me?”

“Tell them the truth.” He kissed her forehead and slipped his fingers under her top, so he could reach the smooth skin underneath. How in the world was she so  _ damned soft? _

Raven snorted “Tell them that I’m currently sneaking away to have raunchy, dirty sex with Red X?”

“No.” Jason buried his nose into the crook of her neck, pressing little kisses up and down her pulse. There was something infinitely satisfying about kissing and touching her in ways that spoke more of intimacy than sex. It was as if his whole world was just a little bit brighter, and he couldn’t think about letting the darkness in again. He smiled and nibbled along her jaw, walking his fingers up her spine. “Not that. Tell them a half-truth. Tell them that you have a boyfriend.”

He could feel her stiffen, as if she word conjured up something she wasn’t ready to face yet, and Jason silently cursed himself. He shouldn’t have pressed so hard when he clearly knew that she was being cautious. They had spent the last few months simply fucking each other senseless, and a few nights of possible companionship didn’t change that. His mind swirled with everything he could say that would fix his own stupidity, but nothing seemed to come out, and so he just held her tighter. If he let go, there was a possibility that she might never come back. 

“Is that what you are? My boyfriend?”

Her voice was barely above a whisper, and her hands stilled in his hair. Jason took a deep breath of her scent, tasting it on his tongue before he pulled away to look into her eyes.  _ Was _ that what he was? A boyfriend? Boyfriends took their girlfriends on dates, and out to dinner, and introduced them to parents and family - Jason nearly laughed at the thought of taking her to Wayne manor. Jesus, that would go over like a lead balloon. But still… the thought of doing all those things with Raven made him quiver with excitement and anticipation. He  _ wanted _ these things. He wanted a sense of normalcy between them, not sneaking around in a seedy motel as they reduced their emotions to nothing more than primal urges. He wanted something  _ real. _

He swallowed and offered a half-hearted shrug, trying to keep his emotions in check. “I’d like to consider it.”

“Consider being my boyfriend?” Raven’s voice was just above a whisper. 

He swallowed. “Yes.”

Raven’s hands slipped down his bare back and she closed her eyes. There was a moment of anticipation, as if she was weighing everything in her mind all at once and trying to decipher what she should say. Seconds skipped by and she managed to string a few words together, filling the silence between them. “I’ve been hurt before.”

“I… I can tell.” Jason had seen the hurt in her, not just from the pain of unrequited love, but something else that burned even deeper. There were scars she didn’t know how to talk about, and he wasn’t going to press her until she was ready. He wanted this relationship to be in her hands. Jason nudged her nose, resting his forehead against her own. “I’ve been killed before.” 

She smirked. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I’m a little fucked up.”

“I don’t know if your death had any part in that.” She opened her eyes and looked into his face, her expression almost playful. “I have the distinct feeling you were a little fucked up long before then.”

Jason couldn’t stop the laughter even if he tried. “You’re such an ass.”

“Mm…” Raven tilted her face up just enough so that her lips brushed against his own, that ghost of a kiss forming between them. Her hands slid up his back, tracing little patterns over his skin, feathering over scars and wounds that had long-since healed. She closed her eyes again and took a very slow breath, as if tasting words she hadn’t quite said yet. 

“I’ll consider it.”

Jason’s heart stopped and his eyes flew open. Had she said…

“But right now we’re just…” She paused and shifted in his arms. “Right now we’re just… figuring each other out.” 

She  _ had _ said it. 

Jason swallowed the emotions building in his chest and he stared at her, waiting until she finally met his eyes again. It was as if everything inside him was building up, and he felt like he might burst any moment. That the dam he had built to keep his feelings compartmentalized was going to break and everything he wanted to say to her would come gushing forth, and he would be helpless to stop it. They lay there in silence for a long while, not really saying anything but not really letting the tension die down either. Instead, they both sat in a perpetual limbo of confusion and awkwardness, each of them trying to understand what had just been said. Jason finally took another deep breath and spoke. 

“You want me to be your boyfriend?”

“I said I’d consider it.” Raven smiled and pressed a soft, innocent kiss to the corner of his mouth before wiggling free of his grasp. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and planted her feet on the ground. “What we have between us is…”

“Complicated,” Jason finished for her. “What we have is complicated.” 

Raven smiled and her expression softened. “Well… that’s one way of putting it I suppose. But yes, what we have is  _ complicated _ .” She pulled on her shoes and stood next to the door, staring at him with those eyes that spoke volumes. “And while we both agree it’s complicated and a little…  _ weird _ … I think we can also agree that we… we like this?”

It came off as a question, and Jason thought his heart might melt. She was nervous about admitting that there were feelings in this situation, and he couldn’t blame her. They had worked so hard on building up a wall between them, and they both believed that every encounter they had was nothing more than shameless, depraved sex. But somewhere in the middle of everything, they realized that there was so much more. There were moments where they both let down their guards and they were left exposed for one another, and it was so beautiful. He wanted to hold onto it for as long as he could. 

“Yeah,” he whispered, his eyes never leaving her face. “Yeah, I think we like this.”

“Then… I guess… I’ll see you next week.”

He nodded, his heart still hammering in his chest. How did she manage to do this to him? How did she manage to make him practically  _ melt _ every time he looked at her. His hands shook and he shoved them under the covers in a futile attempt to keep her from noticing. “Yeah, next week. Same time?”

“Okay.” Her hand reached out and touched the door handle, her fingers not quite wrapping around it. 

“But not here.” Jason gathered up what courage he had left and watched her body stiffen. He to reached into the nightstand and pulled out the small pad of hotel stationary with “Palms Vista” printed across the top. He scribbled his address down and handed it to her, suddenly feeling a bit foolish. “This is… this is my address.”

“O-oh…” Raven took the piece of paper and stared at it. “Your… home?”

“My condo. Yeah.” He shuffled and looked past her to the door, knowing that if he took even a glimpse into her eyes, he would lose himself all over again. What in the world did she  _ do _ to him? Licking his lips, he focused on staring at the wood-grain of the door. “I think maybe… maybe we should try something different next time. Maybe it’s not so much about…  _ this _ .” He motioned to the sheets tossed onto the floor. “Maybe we just… hang out again?”

Her cheeks flushed and she blinked. “Are you asking me over? To  _ your _ place?”

He nodded.

Her nostrils flared and she took a slow breath. “Is this a…”

“Only if you want it to be,” Jason cut her off. He couldn’t say ‘date’ out loud, not when they were both teetering on unsolid ground. 

“I’m not sure yet.” Raven chewed on her lower lip and she tucked the address into her coat pocket. “I don’t know if I want it to be…  _ that _ .”

“Then it does have to be that.”

“But it could be? Eventually?”

Jason thought his heart might explode and he nodded slowly, finally looking into her eyes. There was trepidation here, nervousness, but still a need to connect. She  _ wanted _ to hear him say that it was a date, that maybe they  _ could _ date, and that one day they might find themselves  _ dating _ . But right now, they were both teetering on the edge, not sure if they wanted to make the plunge yet. He smiled and healed forward, curling his fingers under her jaw. 

“It could be.” 


	16. Chapter 16

Raven had been standing outside Jason’s apartment door for the past three minutes, staring at the brass numbers and watching her distorted reflection in the too-shiny surface. She had lifted her hand twice to knock, and twice she had chickened out. So, here she stood, outside his condo trying to find the courage to finally press her knuckles to the door. Raven shifted her weight and looked away from her reflection in the brass numbers. Chewing on her lip, she took a few slow, long breaths, calming her nerves before raising her hand to the door and  _ finally _ knocking once.

The door opened almost immediately, and Raven jerked back, surprised at the sudden display in front of her. Jason leaned against the doorframe, smirking down at her with an expression that sat somewhere between cocky and charming. He was completely shirtless, pants slung low around his hip and practically  _ displaying _ his body like it was a gift. But the icing on the cake was the pink, frilly apron tied around his waist. Raven felt a smile tug at the corner of her lips and she lifted her stare to his laughing expression.

“I wondered when you were going to knock. I know you’ve been out here for the last five minutes.”

Raven flushed, and her heart raced against her ribs as she struggled to find  _ anything _ she could possibly say. “I… wasn’t sure if you were home.”

“Mm.” He obviously didn’t buy her pathetic excuse, but he chose to play along anyway. “In spite of the fact that this is our scheduled day and time?”

Her lips pursed and she glanced away, down towards the hall.

“And you’re telling me that you  _ really _ couldn’t smell my souffle?” 

Ah. She had wondered what that  _ heavenly _ scent was. Her eyes met his laughing, teasing stare again, and her mouth began to water. Raven wasn’t entirely sure that was because of  _ just _ the souffle… or something  _ else _ . Blush darkening, her eyes shot down the length of his body, silently taking in the specimen that he was. Her teeth slipped out to chew on her lower lip and she pretended to be interested in the little apron around his waist.

“The apron is… an  _ interesting _ choice, Jason.”

He laughed, and the sound filled her with something warm and bubbly, like effervescent sunshine. His smile and attitude were practically  _ infectious _ sometimes. “Looks good on me, right? I think pink is my color, it really brings out my eyes.”

Raven snorted. “You’re full of it.”

“I know, but you still put up with me.”

He took a step back and grinned. His head tilted to the side and he stared down at her, his smile lopsided and charming and everything she didn’t want him to be. Raven needed him to go back to being a grade-A asshole, because then this would be so much easier. It was easier to keep this solely physical when he was an idiot and not… this.  _ This _ was the kind of man she knew she would fall for, the kind of man who wore nothing but aprons and a smile, and made  _ souffle, _ and teased her about books and movies and…  _ everything _ . This was the kind of man she didn’t think  _ Red X _ was or ever could be, and yet here he was - a walking enigma. He somehow managed to change her opinion at every opportunity that showed itself. 

“So are we just going to stand outside and engage in witty banter all night, or are you actually going to come inside try my cooking?”

“I have a hard time believing that  _ you _ cook, Jason.” Her lips curled up at the edges and she lifted an eyebrow, feeling that bubbling brightness start to seep through her veins. “It’s not cooking if it’s take out.”

“Ouch, Little Bird.” He placed a hand to his chest in mock pain and shook his head. “I’ll have you know I’m an  _ excellent _ cook… better than the Titan resident water burner anyway.”

Okay, okay. He had a point. Raven snorted and looked away, trying to hide the chuckle that escaped her throat. That seemed to be the tipping point for him - to hear her laughter between them. Jason’s eyes lit up even more and he leaned over her, his fingers slipping along the line of his jaw as he moved closer to her. For a moment, they both seemed to forget that they were in the middle of a hallway of a  _ respectable _ condo building in an upscale part of town, and Jason bent down to brush his lips over her own, his fingertips slipping down her neck to the top of her blouse.

Raven could feel her heart race against her ribs, rattling out a quick, temperamental rhythm as she watched his too-green eyes move closer. There was a heavy silence between them, as if he was trying to taste his words before he said them. Licking his lips, he brushed his nose against hers and mumbled just above a whisper.

“I was worried you wouldn’t come.”

Raven thought her heart might melt at the sound alone, and she leaned closer, taking long gulps of air to taste his familiar scent. Her eyes slipped closed and a smile moved over her lips again. “And miss the sight of you in a pink apron?  _ Never _ .” 

“Mm… here I am trying to be serious and you’re critiquing my fashion choices.” His voice was still low, but there was a tremor of humor behind it. He dropped his hands to his sides and stood up, still staring at her as if she were the most fascinating human on the planet. “I’ll have you know that this apron is both attractive  _ and _ functional.”

Raven pressed her lips together to stifle another laugh. “Of course it is…”

Jason crossed his arms over his chest and shifted his weight, leaning back t take a half-step into his apartment to allow her entry. Raven could smell the heavenly scent of his souffle from inside and her mouth watered. Of all the things she could imagine him doing, cooking was not one of them. Raven pushed at her hair and she looked down the hallway to see two older ladies whispering and giggling at her and Jason. Raven offered them both an awkward wave and Jason chuckled. 

“Hello Mrs. and Mrs. Tenaway! It’s nice to see you again.” He stepped into the hallway and spun around a bit, showing off the apron as if he were doing a little fashion show for them. “Your gift has been getting a lot of use.”

“I see!” They giggled again and started inching toward their apartment, as if trying to offer Jason and Raven some semblance of privacy. “You’ll have to tell us how well it works!” Their eyes flicked to Raven again and they whispered something before disappearing back into their apartment. “Nice to see you, Jason! Let us know how everything goes!”

Raven’s cheeks flushed and she turned to look at Jason with a confused, frustrated noise. “How what goes?”

“My souffle, obviously.”

Jason ushered her inside the apartment, closing the door behind her. His words came out so smoothly, as if they were a lie that he had told himself a hundred times before letting her hear the words. It sounded so perfect she knew it must have been fake, and Raven wanted to press him even more on the subject, but she knew that would only put more space between them. In spite of his almost jovial and easy attitude, Raven could tell that he was a little on edge. Tonight, no matter how easy they both tried to take it, would change the course of their relationship (whatever it was). Tonight was about understanding and redrawing their boundaries, and she didn’t want to mess this up. 

Biting back her questions, she followed Jason into his immaculate apartment. Everything was modestly decorated with simply furniture with no bright colors or garish artwork. Honestly Raven had expected his condo to be a dark, unwelcoming dungeon plastered with  _ Godfather  _ and  _ Scarface _ posters and boxes of half-finished pizza littering the floor. But she was so…  _ wrong _ . Light filtered in from the floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out at the city skyline, and everything was…  _ clean _ . The only thing that indicated that someone lived here was the massive TV hanging on the walls and the few game systems underneath, otherwise it looked a bit like a set on a commercial. 

Jason came up behind her and gently pulled her coat from her shoulders before hanging it up in the closet next to the door. He gave her a small, sort of sheepish smile, and rubbed the back of his head, looking around his apartment for something to focus on. It was almost as if he were nervous, maybe even a little confused on how to  _ really _ move forward. They had spent so many nights just giving into their baser emotions and letting their desires control them, that connecting on a level that  _ wasn’t _ physical seemed to change everything about their relationship. He shifted a little, and Raven found her heart suddenly skipping again, realizing how much she  _ wanted _ this change. She wanted  _ him _

“So, we’ve got a few minutes before the souffle is done…” He cleared his throat and smiled. “I um… I wasn’t sure what you might want to do tonight, but I did manage to find some pretty bad movies on  _ Netflix _ if you’re up for it.”

Raven pressed her lips together to fight off a smile. “How  _ bad _ ?”

Jason’s eyes lit up, and he slid back into her normal, easygoing persona. “ _ Bad _ .” His smile split his lips and he took her hand, leading her over to the sofa. His fingers threaded between her own and Raven found herself enjoying the contact more than she ever thought possible. 

“I mean… it’s called  _ Avalanche Sharks _ . I don’t think it gets much worse.”

She stifled another laugh and sat down on the sofa, watching as Jason took up residence in the spot next to her. A few seconds clicked by in silence, and Raven’s hand tightened in his own. Warmth filled her again, banishing what little fears and concerns she might have had, and left her only with the realization that not only was she here with Jason Todd, but that she couldn’t stop herself from falling even if she wanted to. Right here, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with a man who should have been her enemy, Raven realized that somewhere a long time before this second, she had fallen in love. 

She was so  _ screwed _ .


	17. Chapter 17

It was the perfect date. 

The absolute  _ perfect _ date. 

If Jason had been the asshole she always thought he was, or if the date had gone comically awry, Raven would have been able to turn around and walk away from him forever. It would have been so easy to ignore everything that had been boiling under the surface, and she could have avoided letting those feelings of love thread through her veins. But it was too late, and now she was standing in front of his door, looking up into those too-green eyes knowing that she  _ had _ to leave before she lost herself in him yet again. 

_ Why? _ Why did everything have to go so  _ right? _ This whole thing would have been so much easier to dismiss if it had been a shitty date, but it wasn’t. It was  _ good _ . 

“I had a good time.” Jason smiled and shifted his weight a little, as if he was trying to think of a way to keep her here, but not wanting to come on too strong. He rocked back-and-forth on his heels before taking a half-step back, offering her just a little space. “I had a  _ really _ good time tonight.”

Raven’s hands tightened around her purse and she took a slow, deep breath. “I… I did too.”

His expression brightened and he looked away for a second, as if suddenly sheepish about tonight. Raven found it endearing, and her heart squeezed again, painfully reminding her that she was head-over-heels for him. A few seconds of silence slipped between them and Jason’s stare darted from her eyes to her lips and back again, not sure if he should make a move or not. 

He was being careful, keeping things polite around them, and Raven began to see that there was someone else bubbling up from beneath the facade he had carefully constructed. It wasn’t at all like the suave, smarmy asshole who fucked her senseless, instead he was the person she had caught in glimpses between their rough, raunchy rolls in the sheets. Jason was boyish, and charming, and sweet, and while he played a good asshole, the truth was that  _ this person _ \- the man standing in front of her - was the real Jason. A bit nervous, a bit shy, and someone who she could connect with. Someone she  _ wanted _ to connect with. 

Raven took a deep breath and closed the space between them, offering a soft, chaste kiss before backing away. He made a strange, sort of helpless noise in the back of his throat, and his hands clenched at his sides, as if trying to ward off a feeling he didn’t know how to contend with. Her cheeks flushed and she reached for the door handle, fingers resting on the smooth metal but not turning it. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to go just yet. 

Raven glanced back at him and pulled her purse up on her shoulder. “Same time… next week?”

“Yeah.” He shifted again and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Next week.”

Her hand fell from the handle and she turned back around to see him offering her that little, tiny smile, pulling at the corners of his lips. Her heart twisted again and she moved closer. “One more kiss?”

He practically grinned, and his hands rested on her hips, fingers tightening in her curved just a bit before he stepped forward. Raven could feel her heart leap into her throat, pounding and pushing against her as she tried to keep her head on straight. Jason leaned forward and rested his forehead against her own, nudging her nose with a little, breathy chuckle.

“I never thought I’d be so happy to hear someone ask me for a kiss.”

Letting go of a small whimper, Raven knew she was completely and utterly gone, and in  _ so much trouble _ because of it. 

Without another word, Jason leaned down and stole her lips in a heated, desperate kiss. He tried for a moment to keep it sweet and chaste, as if he didn’t want to scare her away, but his emotions got the better of him and Jason lost himself in her. His lips tasted like the wine and chocolate they had for dessert, warming her with each brush of his mouth. Yet despite this warmth, Raven shivered, a soft moan escaping. She dropped her purse to the floor and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him as close as she could. Everything suddenly felt  _ too hot _ , but she didn’t want a single inch of space between them. An inch somehow felt like an entire world, and it was too far from her. 

He nudged her mouth open, his tongue tracing her lower lip as his hands slipped under the hem of her t-shirt, stroking little patterns over her skin. It was as if his hands were black magic, casting spells even  _ she _ didn’t know the words to. She could feel his fingertips trace scars and outline invisible shapes, and all the while his glorious, sinful mouth continued to destroy her sanity and every logical thought. Kiss after kiss consumed her until Raven was a gasping, trembling mess with swollen lips and mussed hair, eyes too wide and too dark. Nothing made sense anymore, and Raven wasn’t even sure if she wanted things to make sense.  _ Really _ , it was much better to be floating in this cloud of euphoria. 

Jason caught her lower lip between his teeth and he let go of a grunt of need, somehow expressing all of his frustration with a single sound. Slowly, his eyes opened and he took a step back, licking his lips as if he was savoring the flavor of her kisses. He smiled, the expression not quite meeting his eyes, and shoved his trembling hands in his pockets. “Next week?”

The world was spinning around her, colors bright and lights shining like fresh stars. Swallowing her breath, Raven reached behind her and grabbed the door handle for support. It suddenly felt as if she had never owned a pair of legs in her entire life. “Yeah… next week.”

“Okay. I’ll be waiting.”

“Mm…” Raven opened the door and felt herself practically fall into the hallway, her knees still shaking as she fought to keep her footing on this plane of existence. Jason just chuckled and he waited until she was halfway down the hallway before closing the door. 

Realizing she was alone, Raven’s legs finally gave out and she fell into a heap in the middle of the floor, thinking about the way his kisses still burned on her lips. She thought about the fire that had ignited in the pit of her stomach, racing over her body and engulfing her in flames. She thought about every little detail of his face, the way his smile was just a little lopsided, or how that lock of white hair fell into his eyes. She thought about his broad shoulders and defined back, his abs that she had  _ dreams _ of licking cum off of, and that ass that she knew must have looked like art when he fucked her senseless. His innocence somehow married with his sin, creating something that Raven couldn’t define or even understand, and yet she knew she  _ wanted _ it. She craved him in a way that she had never craved anything before, and there was no reason for her to stop herself from getting  _ exactly _ what she wanted. 

Swallowing the last bit of reservation that clung to her, Raven climbed back to her feet and turned around. Everything dissolved into smudges of color as she focused on his door, closing the last bit of space between her and him. Raising her hand she knocked as hard as she could, waiting as those flames continued to lick at her skin. 

Jason opened the door and looked down at her, his expression surprised. 

“I can’t wait until next week.” Raven didn’t recognize her own voice, hearing desire color it in a way she had never heard before. Taking a slow, shaking breath, she looked into his eyes and held onto her resolve with an iron grip. “I don’t  _ want _ to wait until next week.”

“Me either.”

With those words, Jason pulled her back into his apartment, sealing his lips to hers and tasting every breath they shared. Raven dropped her purse on the floor and pushed up against him, her hands sliding under the t-shirt he’d put on, tracing the curves of his abs. She fingered his scars, drew little patterns around them, all the while she met him kiss-for-kiss. His mouth conquered her own, but she refused to let him win without a fight. 

Gasping, Jason pulled back and yanked her shirt over her head, barely giving her bra a second thought before pulling it from her body and leaving it on the floor. His hands wrapped around her narrow ribcage and he dropped his mouth to her breast, tongue flicking along her nipple as he made quick work of her jeans. Raven wasn’t even sure what to focus on - the sensation of his hot, warm mouth on her breast, or the way her clothes felt as they were pulled from her body. It was soft and warm mingling with rough and quick, and everything was mixing together to create a sensation that was both beautiful, but desperate. She let go of a sharp cry of need as Jason’s fingers traced her core with slow, purposeful strokes. 

Her eyes fluttered closed and she murmured, “ _ Yes _ .”

Jason smiled and he pushed two fingers inside her, his thumb rubbing circles over her clit. His teeth caught her nipple, biting just a little as he flicked it with his tongue. Bite. Flick. Pain. Pleasure. Over and over and over again until she was numb with need. Raven let go of a curse, and she found herself helplessly riding his fingers as her muscles contracted with need, the fire now burning her alive. Her hands threaded through his hair and she held on as if he was the only thing in this world keeping her here. He shoved her against the kitchen island, the cool granite of the countertop freezing against her overheated skin, his fingers relentless as they pistoned in and out of her.

Raven wanted to scream, to beg him to let her come, to do  _ something _ other than lay beneath him as he took her higher and higher. Words were escaping her, thoughts were mingling together, his little purs and grunts of pleasure were dancing over her skin like sparks, and through it all she was losing herself to him. 

_ Fuck _ . Fuck.  _ Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck… _

She gritted her teeth and bit down on her lower lip as her hips pushed up against his fingers. Any moment now, and her body was going to give in. 

She gasped, feeling weightless as her eyes shot open. 

Jason released her breast and leaned over her to watch her face, his smile wide. His fingers curved against  _ that spot _ , rubbing it in just the way that made Raven forget her own name. She looked up into his face, counting the small smattering of freckles over his nose, as if that was going to keep her grounded for just a little bit longer. 

“Don’t hold back,  _ Little Bird _ .” His voice was low, like honey dripping with poison. His thumb pressed harder against her clit before flicking it, sending lightning snapping through her nervous system. Jason smiled and he dropped his head to her shoulder, pressing kisses up and down her pulse. “I need you to come. I need to see your face. I need to know that  _ I’m _ making you come.” He scraped his teeth along her neck, tongue flicking out to taste her skin. “I want you to say my name. To  _ beg me _ for orgasm. To let every single thought escape you, except for  _ me _ .”

Raven’s hands gripped the edge of the counter and she gasped. 

“Come on,  _ Little Bird _ …” 

His fingers moved faster.

“ _ Come on, Little Bird… _ ”

Raven closed her eyes. 

“ _ Come _ .”

With a scream that threatened to break windows, Raven tilted her head back and called out his name as if it was the only thing that kept her together. Her body convulsed and shook, and her legs gave out as she sagged against the counter, letting those pretty, bright flames burn her to the point of no return. Her vision darkened, but she could hear her voice keep calling out his name as she rode wave after wave of pleasure, his fingers coaxing every drop of pleasure from her. 

Raven lost track of time, and it felt like ages before she opened her eyes again, looking up into that lopsided smirk. 

Jason grinned and licked her cum from his fingers. 

Raven just watched him, completely transfixed as his tongue curled around his finger in a way that made her want to pin him to the floor and ride his face. Her muscles clenched and tightened desperate for another ride from his hand, but she somehow managed to find her footing and hold her weight up. Her eyes met his, barely hearing his little, teasing laugh over the sound of blood rushing through her veins. 

He was  _ so _ going to get it. 

Snarling, Raven hooked her fingers in the waistband of his jeans and pulled him close to her, reminding him that she could and  _ would _ take charge if the situation called for it. 

“ _ Bedroom. Now. _ ” 


	18. Chapter 18

Jason couldn’t help but let go of a dark, raspy chuckle as his back his the mattress, his throw pillows bouncing onto the floor with the force of his weight. He could feel that bright effervescent feeling sparkle through his chest, and it felt almost playful. Everything was light again,  _ joyful _ almost. He lifted his stare to see Raven, in all of her beautiful, nude glory, standing in front of him, fire in her eyes. She looked wild, desperate, needy, all of the things he had seen in her before, but not to this degree. He had  _ never _ seen her like this - as though her carnal need was being fueled by something deeper. Yes, she needed his body, but she needed it because…

Jason watched as she stepped forward, her eyes practically  _ boring _ into him.

…because maybe she loved him too?

His heart slammed into his chest at that thought, and he watched the shadows cloud her vision, keeping her true intentions shrouded for just a moment. Licking his lips, Jason held out his arms, his hands slipping up and down her curves as she crawled over him to straddle his lap. He wanted to dwell on that little fantasy, that she might actually love him. For the briefest moments, his mind was filled with little imaginations of her lying in his arms, of long, slow mornings, or quiet afternoons. He thought about her too-dark stare looking up at him, saying everything he wanted her to say. Brimming with a strange kind of happiness, Jason squashed a smile, and trailed his fingertips up her spine before burying his hands in her hair. 

“You’re looking like you’re going to eat me whole, Little Bird.”

She smirked and ground herself against his erection, and even through his jeans Jason could feel how hot and wet she was. She was still riding the high of her first orgasm, and Jason began to wonder how many more times he could make her scream. He wanted to see her dripping with cum, face flushed, screaming as he took her in every way imaginable. He wanted every part of her to be his - completely and utterly  _ his _ . 

Jason leaned up and brushed his lips against hers, the heady taste of lust clinging to her. “Are you?” His teeth brushed against her lower lip, drawing it into his mouth and sucking just a little. With a little  _ pop _ , he released her mouth and smirked up at her. “Going to eat me whole?”

“The idea sounds…  _ nice _ .” Her hands trailed down his chest and slid over his abs before resting on the button of his jeans. She leaned over his shoulder, her lips brushing against his ear as she whispered against him. “I think I like all the little, soft, keening sounds you make when I suck you off.”

He  _ keened? _ He did  _ not _ keen. He was a grown-ass man,  _ keening _ was not something he did. 

His eyes narrowed and he rolled her under him, pinning her hands to either side of her head. Under his touch he could feel the push-and-pull of her magic, the black spark of it coursing through her bloodstream. Her emotions were riding high, slipping through her body with ferocity that he had never felt before. There was something inside her begging to be let free, as if there was a caged animal that was scratching at the surface. Everything that had been building between them over the last few months was quickly coming to a head, and Jason could feel the need explode just under her skin, not yet released, but so close to it. 

He leaned forward and rested his forehead against her own, tasting the spice of her desire between them. Raven lifted her lashed and her teeth came out to chew on her lower lip, a flash of nervousness hiding behind the darkness of her eyes. The air around them shifted, and Jason released her wrists, his fingers finding her jaw with tender, delicate strokes. 

“ _ Jason _ .”

A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth and he curled her chin up just enough to brush a kiss over her lips. “ _ Little Bird? _ ”

She closed her eyes and her fingers carded through his hair, each pass of her hands slow and easy. It was such a change to go from the chaos of sexuality and the desperate, insatiable need that had happened in the living room to  _ this _ . Raven was tender and careful, her touch soft. Jason took another kiss from her lips, his hands slipping down the curve of her chest to rest over her heart. Raven let go of a little noise in the back of her throat and her eyes opened again. 

“Make love to me.”

His heart stopped in his chest, and he found his usually chatty mind suddenly white. She had asked him this same request before, the night that they spent together until the early rays of dawn were creeping in between the cheap curtains of the motel. But  _ this? _ This was  _ different _ . It was as if everything slipped out of his grasp, the things he would have normally said to her suddenly silent in his head. She had asked that he  _ make love to her _ . Not “fuck me” or “make me scream” or even “just sleep with me”. She had said  _ make love to me _ , and that was such a purposeful choice of words that Jason wasn’t even sure if he was fully understanding what she had asked him. His mind was stuck in park, never moving forward, even as she leaned up for another kiss. 

“Raven…” He tasted her name on his tongue and his teeth found the swell of her lower lip, nibbling. 

“Jason. I…”

He closed his eyes and his hands slipped over her sides, trailing down her ribcage. “Are you trying to say something to me,  _ Little Bird _ ?”

“Later.” Her eyes opened just a little, the look strangely sultry. There was a pause in her breath, something hiding in silence between their words, and she retracted just enough to give herself space to breathe. It was space to help her find the sanity clinging to the last vestiges of her control. “I’ll… I’ll tell you later. But right now… make love to me, please?”

“Anything, Raven.” Jason’s hands paused, and his fingers bit into the plump flesh of her hips. He watched as her eyes fully opened and she took a slow, trembling breath. Her hands slid down his arms, tangling around his wrists. He brushed his nose against her own and murmured soft phrases into her ear. The syllables all ran together, tumbling and careening around each other until he wasn’t really sure what he was saying to her, but he knew that it was supposed to be important. His mouth found her neck and he continued to kiss her, drowning in the little noises that escaped the back of her throat. It felt almost  _ magical _ .

Raven’s hands found his jeans and she unfastened them with agonizing slowness, pushing them over his hips and towards the floor. The fabric slid over his skin as if he were on fire and he groaned into her neck, his teeth scratching along her pulse. He hadn’t felt this desperate in  _ years _ , like he might burn in hell for a thousand years if he didn’t find the sanctuary of her body. Her fingertips trailed up his spine, taking time to pause at all the scars that marred his skin. She curled her back and pulled him closer to her, pressing his chest against her own. 

Jason could feel her heart fluttering and he smiled. There was something infinitely more satisfying of knowing that he could make her lose herself like this. Making sure she had mind-blowing sex?  _ Check _ . But  _ this _ helpless, hopeless need to be close to her? This was far better.

His hands slid between her thighs, nestling her hips against hers. Raven’s fingers curled into his hair and she took a deep breath, feeling him slide into her in one, swift movement. Jason paused above her, lifting himself up just enough to look into her eyes again. He could feel his heart stutter, forgetting that it knew how to beat, and Jason swallowed the sound that threatened to escape. The effervescent feeling that was building in his chest was reflecting in her eyes. The stare that was often so distant and far away seemed bright with light that Jason couldn’t quite name, and his joy practically burst through him like starlight. 

He leaned down and rested his forehead against hers, his hands finding her hair as he buried himself deep within her. It was such a juxtaposition of love and lust that he felt like he had lost control of the most intimate parts of himself, and it didn’t even matter. 

Nothing mattered, as long as he got to have Raven wrapped up in his arms for just a little bit longer. 

He had honestly forgotten how wonderfully  _ horrible _ it was to be in love.


	19. Chapter 19

When Jason woke the next morning, every muscle in his body was sore to the point of aching, and he could feel nail marks sliding down his back as a faint reminder of the pleasure-pain Raven had somehow inflicted on him last night. He wasn’t sure if it was their first or second round of fucking, but it didn’t matter really. All that mattered was that for a few glorious hours, it felt like the rest of world had finally faded away and he was left with…  _ her _ . 

He groaned and pulled the pillow over his face, trying not to imagine all the ways yesterday felt like something  _ real _ . Raven was still cautious about their “date”, still worried about all the things that were building between them and she wasn’t going to consider tonight the same way he did. She wasn’t going to consider this as a moment of them growing together closer… would she? 

Jason thought back to the night they spent together wrapped up in each other’s arms, they way she had said his name a fevered prayer as he tasted every inch of her, it almost made him think for just a few seconds that this was real - that it was  _ real _ , and it was  _ theirs. _ God, he felt like such a love-sick fool, head-over-heels for a girl he shouldn’t love and who he was almost  _ certain _ didn’t love him back. 

_ But her kisses tell a different story.  _

Not the time, brain. 

Jason pulled the pillow off his face and stared up at the ceiling, listening to the soft hum of traffic outside his window as light stretched in white lines over the ceiling. His world felt a bit like it was unraveling at the edges, and all he could do was lay there and try to understand  _ exactly _ what yesterday night was supposed to mean. He turned everything over in his mind, shuffling through thoughts and words, trying to understand her body language when she turned to him, when she bit her lip, when her eyes fell to the scar against his jaw for just a second too long. 

He really was so  _ pathetic _ sometimes. Sitting up, he he pitched forward and resting his arms on his knee, feeling the comforter settle around his hips. Bleary-eyed and groaning, Jason focused on something real and something normal, and began to tick through his list of things that needed to be done before the end of the day - there was cleaning up after last night, grocery shopping, and then he promised the Mrs. Tenaways that he was going to take their pomeranian for a walk, but first-

“Coffee?”

His head snapped up, eyes wide, and he caught the sight of Raven standing there in the doorway, holding onto a cup of coffee for him. Her toes curled against the hardwood floor and she shifted her weight, trying to piece together something to say. He didn’t expect her to stay the entire night - at least not at his place, and  _ certainly _ not in his clothes. He swallowed a jumble of words that didn’t quite sound right in his head, and watched Raven for a long moment. She looked surprisingly sheepish and a little reserved - not at all like the minx who had performed some  _ advanced _ acrobatics with him the night before. Her hair was a bit of a mess, and he could see a bite-shaped mark on the curve of her neck. His handiwork, of course.

“I would have made breakfast…” She shifted, the hem of his shirt brushing up against her bare thigh. “But, I’m not exactly known for my prowess in the kitchen.” 

“I’ve heard.”

Her face fell and her mouth set into a stern line, but Jason could see her ears turn pink out of embarrassment. He bit back a laugh, trying not to set her off. He’d heard some of the tales of what happened when Raven tried her hand at being in the kitchen - they were all pretty amazing, and usually ended in the fire department being called. His lips quirked to the side and he reached out for her, motioning her closer to the bed. She looked from his hand to his face before the lines in her face softened. It was an odd, quiet movement, something that spoke about her curiosity and the  _ want _ she had still coursing through her. Jason might have been crazy for falling in love with her, but at least there were indications that he might not be alone in his stupidity. 

“Come back to bed.” He wasn’t sure it sounded like himself - or at least the side of him she knew - but Jason was past caring anymore. He offered her what felt like a boyish, sheepish smile. “Please?”

Raven hesitated for a moment, that critical look returning her eye where he wasn’t sure exactly what her next move would be. She took a half-step back, trying to keep the space between them. He’d grown accustomed to her running whenever they inched too close, but then again… she  _ had _ stayed the night with him. This made it  _ twice _ that they had spent an entire night together. If this kept up, maybe she’d have to admit that this was more than just really good sex.

Raven looked back into his face, trying to read his emotions as best as she could, before walking past him to set the coffee mug on the nightstand next to him. The ceramic knocked softly on the hardwood, a noise of finality, and she glanced down into his face. Another moment’s hesitation flashed in her eyes before she pulled back the edge of the down comforter and crawled into his bed, pushing the sheets and blankets out of the way. There was an odd, heavy silence in the room, as if they both knew that this was the last act - a moment of quiet where the last barriers between them fell. There was no armor to hide behind, no shields and weapons to fight with - it was just them, soft and tender and  _ human _ .

Jason smiled up at her, his heart jumping into his throat as he watched her pull close to him, and each inch she drew closer it was like she was fighting against herself. It was tender for her, not at all like the girl who used to snarl and bite whenever he got too close to her feelings. His fingers tangled in the edge of her hair for a moment before running down her spine. Like this, Raven seemed almost felt like someone else entirely, but then again… maybe she’d always been this way - wanting contact but afraid of what it truly entailed. Maybe it was easier for her to hide behind sharp words and distance, than it was for her to allow someone to grow closer to her. 

Raven slung her arm over his hip, fingers tracing an old scar along his ribcage with a surprising moment of tenderness. The shadows on the floor moved quietly over the carpet, and they lay there in contemplative silence for what seemed like ages. Until Raven finally spoke. 

“I shouldn’t have stayed.”

His face fell, and Jason somehow resisted the urge to curl his arm down her back and hold her against him. Hr heart was fluttering in her chest, like a caged bird that was dying to be free. He waited quietly and let her dictate how she wanted this conversation to go - if he pushed too much or too close, he could very easily drive her away. And they had just gotten to the point where Raven was  _ actually _ sleeping over, and they were…  _ something _ . They  _ had _ to be  _ something _ at this point. 

“Dick text you?” Jason winced and wanted to punch himself in the goddamned mouth. Yes,  _ that’s _ what he needed to be doing right now - bringing up Raven’s leader and unrequited crush. Fucking hell, did he not have a goddamned iota of self preservation in him? “Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“I let him know I wasn’t coming back last night… I had a date.” Her words were murmured into his throat, the sound vibrating into his chest like a brand. “I told him I wasn’t sure when I was coming back today.” Pause. “Or  _ if. _ ” 

Jason sucked in a breath and trapped it his chest with anticipation. Another minute slid by as Raven weighed her words carefully, unsure of what she wanted to say to him. She was trying to think of the right things to say - the kind of things that meant there was going to be another shift between them, and it was going to be more definitive than just a date at his condo. He waited, feeling like the world was closing in on him again, and all there was - was  _ her _ .

“But, I’m glad though…” She tucked her head under his chin, not so much to get closer to him as to hide from him. Her eyelashes brushed against his throat. “...that I stayed. With you, I mean.” 

Jason’s hand rested on her lower back and he pulled away enough to see the softest flush of pink color her cheeks. It was all he needed, and it was enough. His other hand came up to curl under her chin, and he drew her face towards his. Raven met his eyes, a shadow behind them. There was caution and fear, but there was something else he had seen before - it looked like an emotion neither of them were ready to address just yet. It looked like something he wanted to name  _ so badly _ , but he would rather die than push her away. He’d wait until she was ready to say what she needed to. 

Raven leaned closer to him, her own words rumbling over his lips. “ _ Make love to me. _ ”

He didn’t need to be asked twice, not when she said it  _ like that _ . 

Jason captured her lips in a kiss that seemed so full of feeling and so broken at the edges that he wasn’t sure whose emotions were controlling him - his or hers. Right now it was impossible to tell where he left off and she began. His hands threaded into her hair, tangling the strands between his fingers as he crushed her to him, feeling every little twitch and gasp between their kisses. Each drag of his lips against her seemed to be drawing something out of her - something neither of them could name right away, but Jason could  _ hope. _

Raven made a soft whimper in the back of her throat and she leaned up into his mouth, her teeth teasing his lower lip with little bites and nips. Jason groaned and he rolled her onto the bed, pinning her beneath him as his mouth trailed down her jaw and neck. Each kiss was a brand against her skin - a mark to let her and everyone else know that she belonged to him, at least in this moment. Who knew when he would be able to have her like this again?

Raven arched into him, her hand going into his hair as he slid his tongue down the curve of her throat, flicking against her pulse. 

“S-slower.” Her words came out in a ragged breath that sounded nothing like her, and Jason looked back up into her face. Raven was flushed bright red, the color working down her neck as she ran the palm of her hand down his chest. “ _ Please. _ Go… slower.” 

Jason smiled and his fingers caught the hem of his shirt, pulling it over her head with a nonsensical murmur against her lips - something that was probably embarrassing and romantic. He threw it off the bed, leaving her as naked as she had been the night before, only now she looked soft in the early morning light. She looked like she was made of down and satin, and he wasn’t sure what part of her he wanted to touch the most. His hips nestled between her bent knees and he looked down at her, stretched out like a goddess carved out of ivory. He could see the scar along her belly, the freckle on her left breast, and everything about it seemed…  _ his _ . It was a visual of every moment they had spent together, and he got to enjoy it -  _ slowly _ .

Jason leaned over her, his hands resting on either side of her shoulders, and he kissed her again, this time going slower and taking longer to taste her kisses. Each kiss was different to him, and he wanted to savor every minute. Raven let go of another whine when he pulled away, and he smiled when she chased after him. If she wanted slow - he would make her  _ wait _ . He was in no hurry. Jason’s fingertips slid down her sternum, resting just above her heart and feeling it flutter against his touch.

Raven leaned up into his touch, chasing after his kisses as he withdrew from her. The warmth he felt the night before seemed to consume him, filling him up with a light and banishing the shadows for a few brief moments. Her eyes lifted slowly, and he saw her pupils blown wide, her entire body drenched with a kind of need that seemed to go much deeper than just physical, and he  _ wanted this _ . He wanted her in a way he couldn’t place, with a name he couldn’t articulate - he just knew he wanted her, for as long as she would let him. 

Jason’s hand slid back up her sternum, sliding along her neck before burying his fingers in her hair again. Raven pushed herself up and stole another kiss, her own hands sliding down his chest in an exploratory way. This wasn’t about sex anymore, this was about  _ pleasure _ , and it was about them. It was taking a long moment to touch and learn all about each other in a way that wasn’t so vicious or brutal. It was meant to build them up, not tear them down. 

Jason leaned into her kiss, letting his mind fall into the sensation of her delicate hands exploring what was irrevocably hers. Each stroke was designed to map him, to mark each scar and imperfection; to feel the smoothness of his skin under her touch, and to learn all about what excited him. She was trying to learn how he liked to be touched in moments like this, when things were soft and slow and  _ better.  _

Raven’s fingernails scraped along his nipple and he groaned into her mouth, his hand tightening in her hair as he pushed her deeper into the mattress. She smiled into his mouth - the faintest twitch of her lips - and did it again, the pad of her thumb sliding over his chest. 

“ _ Raven _ …” He mumbled her name against her lips, feeling another secretive half-smile from her. “ _ Behave. _ ”

“I’m not very good at behaving.” 

_ Was she teasing him? _

Her eyes lifted and she looked back up into his face, catching her lower lip between her teeth. Eyes never leaving his own, her hand wandered down the curves and planes of his chest before her fingers tangled in the neatly-trimmed hair around his cock. Her fingers wrapped around him, testing his weight and obviously enjoying how he felt in her hand. She pumped slowly, never looking away as each stroke made him feel like she was teasing him with a dark magic of her own creation.  _ Fucking hell _ , she was going to be the death of him. He was going to die here, wrapped in the softness of his bed and early morning light, her arms around him as she drove him to madness. Jason pitched forward and let go of what was an undoubtedly embarrassing moan, before his head rested in the crook of her shoulder. 

“ _ Little Bird…”  _ Did he have to sound so broken?

Raven’s teeth caught his ear and she nibbled, tightening her grip enough that Jason thought he might see stars. Gasping into her ear, he slipped his hands under the small of her back and pulled back far enough to look into her eyes. Her expression was impish, and she looked at him with unrestrained desire and need. 

“ _ Now. _ ” Her breath escaped in a single rush and she released his cock, letting him move between her thighs. 

It was like like coming home. Jason let go of a wounded noise when he entered her, knowing that this wasn’t fucking - this was making love. This was about  _ them _ , in more than just this physical moment. He gasped when her nails dug into the muscle on his back, pulling him tightly against her. They had never been like this before, and it was so much more telling than what they had done before. It was… it felt so much more personal than just  _ sex _ . Raven was fluttering around him, each tremble of her own body telling him how close she was to falling over that edge. 

But then again, she  _ had _ asked him to go slow…

He moved within her, taking his time to pull himself to just the edge of her before sliding back in. It was strangely beautiful, in its own unusual way, to feel her like this… to feel like this was how this was supposed to be. Slow, gentle, loving… Jason leaned forward and tasted a whimper still clinging to her lips as he slid back into her, each movement languid and purposeful, as if they had all the time in the world. This was how he always wanted it to be - open, honest, exploratory. He wanted early morning in his bed and long nights of falling asleep on the sofa. He wanted to take her as rough as she wanted, but then spend hours making everything feel even better. He wanted all of her bad days, her good days, her tears, her broken heart over a dumb boy… he wanted  _ every little part of her. _

Jason lost track of time, he counted her gasps, her soft sighs, watched light fill her eyes and her back arch into him. He felt her hands claw down her back, and watch sweat drip between her breasts. He felt her heels dig into his back, and through it all he heard her whisper his name over and over, just like the prayer she had said before. But now it was softer, it spoke of something so much more than just this. 

Her hands dug in his hair and Jason could feel her last orgasm starting to build between them, a long drawn out gasp filled her lungs, and her eyes met his own - a different wild darkness in them. 

“ _ I love you. _ ”

Jason didn’t even get to enjoy his own orgasm through the surprise. 

His body tightened and he felt himself spilling into, her own body tightening around him and milking him. A rumbled sort of disjointed words escaped him as he tried to make sense of the words that had come out of her mouth. Had she really just said that… to him? During  _ sex? _ Gasping and groaning, Jason pushed himself up on his forearms and looked down into her face, desperately trying to think of the right response. Raven’s blush grew darker as the silence stretched between them, and she shifted to try and break the tension even a little bit, but he refused to let her go. 

Finally, a single word escaped the prison of his throat. 

_ “What?” _

Too bad it wasn’t the word he needed to say. 


	20. Chapter 20

Jason watched as her face flooded with color so red it seemed painful, and panic filled her eyes. Everything darkened at the edges, growing fuzzy and unfamiliar. He stumbled over his own breath, words sliding off his tongue like raindrops on a window pane. Nothing seemed to stick to his brain, let alone to his  _ mouth _ , and he just stared down at her, his weight shifting on his forearms as he felt every inch of her flutter around him. She was still basking in the aftershocks of something slow and magical, and he could see the fine sheen of sweat dot her forehead. 

_ She… _

_ …had said…  _

Raven’s eyes fell, and she closed them with a soft noise he couldn’t quite decipher, but sounded of disappointment and embarrassment. He could see her shame grow even more on her face, as if she wanted to take back everything that she said, but it was too late. Jason watched her throat work, as if she was trying to come up with an excuse to cover-up her words, to turn it into something else, but she couldn’t. They were now hanging between them, and all he had to do was reach out and acknowledge them. He just had to admit to himself, that this wasn’t a  _ dream _ .

He wanted to dig his fingers into her and touch her flesh just to remind himself that this was  _ real _ . This wasn’t one of his drunken fevered dreams where he imagined a moment like this, this was  _ Raven _ . Not a hallucination, but…  _ tangible.  _ She was underneath him, practically trembling, allowing the tenderest part of her soul to be exposed to  _ him _ \- to the guy who goaded and teased her, who told her that this was nothing more than a good  _ fuck _ . She was leaving herself open for heartache and pain, knowing that if he didn’t reciprocate her feelings, then she might be just as wounded as she was when they found each other all those months ago. 

Every inch of him hurt with a pain that felt so wretched and so wonderful all at the same time. He didn’t know that it could feel like this, like he was basking in a kind of white heat that threatened to rip him apart while simultaneously putting him back together. 

Jason closed his eyes, letting his head fall down the few scant inches to brush against her own. His arms were trembling now, and he took a gasping breath, tasting sex and  _ her _ still lingering between them. Behind the darkness of his eyelids, he could see every memory that they had built - her  _ want _ outside the seedy sex shop, the emptiness inside her when he called out Starfire’s name instead of her own, the empty ache that healed with every encounter… and then her tilted smile, the way she couldn’t use chopsticks, the laugh when he made a bad joke or a  _ horrific  _ pun, and  _ his name _ . 

Oh god, he should have known the truth about her feelings the minute she said his name. The soft cries on her lips as he devoured every inch of her he could taste, as he let his tongue find hollows of her that he didn’t want to keep secret. He should have known how she felt about him then, maybe this would have been easier, maybe he could have saved them so much time. They wouldn’t have had to drag this out for so long, and he wouldn’t be laying here, as breathless as if he’d run a marathon. They wouldn’t have to break apart even more just to be put together in a jumble of mismatched pieces.

“I…” Raven struggled to find something to say, but Jason didn’t want to hear it. 

His nose nudged her own, feeling her muscles tense in a weird muscle-memory of caution as his lips brushed  _ just so  _ against her own. It was a barely-there kiss, a prelude to something else, but it was  _ careful _ . As rough as they were with each other, as hard as they could be and how much they had wanted to break bones and scar tender flesh, they were still  _ careful _ . And this moment felt like the spindle of blown glass, fine and ready to shatter at any moment. 

His lips moved against hers again, and he could taste so much clinging to them, everything they had tried to say but didn’t come out right and all the things they both hoped would come to light. It was as if every fear was washed away with that near-painful heat, and Jason pressed his lips to her own, taking his time to kiss her  _ right _ . He wanted this to be what it should have been so long ago, a slow, languid drag of lips against each other. He felt, more than heard, a soft sound rumble in her chest and Jason smiled against her mouth. Raven was cautious for a moment, unsure if she understood what he was trying to do - try to stop her from saying more, or expressing his feelings without saying a word. 

Jason hoped after the long minutes passed and her muscles eased into his, that his body said what his mouth couldn’t quite form. He hoped his kisses told her everything she needed to hear, and maybe it did. In this moment, it felt like someone had gifted him with something he shouldn’t have - something that was stolen from him years ago when he was broken and left for dead. And here Raven was, returning it to him in a way he never expected. He was just as shattered as him, but… but maybe they could just find their own, imperfect form of comfort.

He pulled away, his breath loud and ragged in the silence between them. Raven’s lips were swollen, cheeks flushed for an entirely different reason, and there was just a  _ hint _ of a smile to her mouth. But a question still hung between them, waiting for something that she needed to know, to hear in his own voice. 

“I love you too.” His forehead rested against hers again, his heart still pounding in his chest. 

There was a raw tenderness that spread across her face and Jason felt the world around him tumble end-over-end until his head was spinning with so many thoughts and emotions, he didn’t know which way was up any more. It was as if little pieces of her were wedging their way into his heart, and he was helpless but to let her in. He was…  _ smitten. Ugh. _

Still… with Raven, it didn’t seem so bad. He didn’t mind this feeling at all, no matter how terrifying it was. 

One of his arms snaked around the small of her back and he pulled her up, leaning back on his ankles as she settled on his lap. Her thighs tightened against his hips, and she rocked her body  _ just enough _ to let him know that she was still eager for him. As sore as she might be from everything they had done last night  _ and  _ this morning, she still  _ wanted _ . He could feel his body come to life again, blood pumping through his veins as he felt her hands slide down the sides of his face, cupping his cheeks. Her fingers were cool and gentle, as if she was mapping him just for herself. 

Her plum hair fell out from behind her ear, tickling his skin. He loved being this close, this intimate with her. 

“Are you going to say that you’re going to _show_ _me_ how much you love me?” There was a cheeky lilt to her voice, and he could feel her muscles tighten around his cock, teasing and sending jolts of electricity up and down his spine. Jason’s head tilted back on his shoulders. Oh, she was _asking_ for it at this point.

“Of course.” He grinned and kissed along her jaw, pulling her so tight against him that he could feel the pound of her heart, and the excitement singing through her veins. She hummed against his throat, still smiling. 

“But first,  _ breakfast. _ ” With a laugh he picked her up and pushed her back onto the downy covers. 

Raven lay there for a long moment, watching as he pulled on his underwear. Her lips pursed and she sat up, the soft playful look melting into disbelief. She looked like a cat that had been left out in a storm, and  _ desperately _ wanted to come in. “You can’t be serious.”

“Of course I am.” He shrugged, his smile growing as he watched her annoyed disappointment, barely holding back that weird effervescent laughter - the kind you got when you were in love for the first time. “Boy’s gotta eat,  _ Princess _ .” His eyes drug down the length of her before meeting her face again. “And as  _ delicious _ as you are, we should probably eat actual food… we’re gonna need something to keep up out stamina after all.”

Her lips tugged up  _ just enough _ to make him return the smile. Okay, so he was out of the doghouse for now.

“Come on, I’ll make you tea while we wait,  _ Love _ .” 

He didn’t expect to say it, but somehow it just escaped, and the endearment tasted nice on his tongue. It was like a flavor that he had always eyed behind glass but never tried. From the barest edge of his vision, he watched Raven tuck her head against her chest, as if she liked it too. Her lips pulled to the side and she dug out her underwear from the covers before stumbling after him, her steps like a newborn foal’s.

Oh god, he was  _ such a gonner _ . 

* * *

They never finished breakfast, and it took the smoke alarm from the bacon burning in the pan to get Jason to scramble from between her legs and turn everything off. Raven just laughed as he tried to avoid getting hot grease splattered against his chest and  _ other _ sensitive areas. He just glared at her from beneath his too-long lashes, but his look held all bark and no bite. Raven knew all his secrets now… and, he knew hers too. There seemed to be no more walls to hide behind, no defenses to throw up, nothing that kept them protected from the world and each other, and it felt strangely freeing. It felt honest and real, and even though every step they had made to get here was the  _ wrong one _ somehow, it turned out alright. 

She lay there, on the cool tile of his kitchen floor, staring at the ceiling taking deep breaths as she replayed every memory of them over and over in her mind. Everything seemed to mash together, and still be oddly separate and individual. Her memory held so many different things, and yet it was somehow a sum of its parts. Everything from their interactions, to the way he looked at her, to how he gave her  _ exactly _ what she needed, opening her up and allowing her wounds to heal. The way he looked at her when the words came tumbling out of her mouth… she wasn’t sure what made her say them, only that she knew they were  _ true. _

Jason was  _ patient _ with her, careful in a way that was uniquely him. He knew when to push and when to pull away, when to bite and when to hold back. He knew how to care for her in a way her own friends still hadn’t figured out. He was nothing short of a miracle to her, something more than just a good roll in the hay, even more than a friend. He was… she didn’t have words. Everytime she tried to place them, they disappeared. All she could see was that scarred, lopsided smile and little, rolling chuckle in the back of his throat. 

He was just  _ there,  _ showing her that  _ real love _ was somewhere, and that it could be hers. 

“Well… that was a good attempt.” 

He ran his fingers through his hair, flicking his streak of white into his eyes. He looked  _ charming _ , even with the scars around his eyes and along his jaw. Raven never thought  _ anyone _ looked charming, but somehow he managed to do it with ease. Oh god, she was turning  _ lovesick _ and that was just an embarrassment. He would never let her live it down if he ever found out. 

“You don’t have to woo me with your cooking, you know.” She lifted her arms and let them rest above her head. “You did that last night with the souffle.” 

His smile pulled to the side and he stood over her grinning. Even from here…  _ whew, _ Raven didn’t believe in luck, but this seemed to be her  _ lucky day _ .

“You just gonna lay there all day?”

“Depends.” Raven shrugged, her lips pulling up at the edge as she adjusted her knees a little wider. “Are you going to finish your  _ breakfast appetizer _ or not?”

He licked his lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accept that I am not very good at this writing thing and move on. Thanks for putting up with me.


End file.
